SO BAD TIME

Just some years ago I went to the family doctor to make me a review of how they were my blood values, my defenses and the general state of my body that they were bad, but had been much worse in june or july of that year.

Hoped that analysis values were not so bad at all, and throughout last summer had been. 
Actually all my defenses had fallen on the floor, no red cells, no lymphocytes, no platelets, no hemoglobin, to the point that the most appropriate, I have been told emergency transfusion because of the dire state recover and loss weight in addition to all the above had been tremendous, bad compared as someone coming out of a concentration camp infamous memory.

If a dire physical condition we add total depression, the picture was bleak, so bleak that was useless. 

Years ago I was five months without writing anything, without doing any useful work, lying on a couch dozing and no strength for anything . 
How could I have forces with a huge anemia ?. 

Walking one hundred meters was torture and should do so to a crawl. Dizzy, photophobia, any noise was unbearable, and of course wanting to die the next day, or just at the same time of thinking about it.
Very bad to remember, you know?.

Yes, I know.

Sometimes I think about how good it is "not having a gun at home" because otherwise any act of desperation possible, your life is worth very little when discouragement and total disability becomes the owner of your life. 

And if suicidal thoughts run through your head as if you are not going to spend life ultimately lacks any appeal in that time, although faith or hope of improvement may be present in the deeper layers of the human being.

Continuing with the story I am telling you because I'm going out on a limb and philosophizing and not end it ever.

Gatufo not worry, your account as you want without problems I'll tell you when bored staff, is where you were.

Well, as I said I was very sick, depressed and waiting to see my blood values ​​that had been so badly wrong.

From April or May of 2012 yea I was not a person. The last fourteen years or more had been taking care of Cuca, you know that she suffers from "multiple esclorosis" that will increasingly incapacitating. 
Emi to virtually everything in the house and outside, and took care of Cuca and his beloved cat "Gatufo", and May all had been possible for him, for me, it seemed I was able to eat the world until the last moment I fall sick, very sick in fact.

When you take care of your useful and love always feel great, have done and keep doing what I never thought I could do. 

Carrying a house, a man who until fourteen years ago was cared for and pampered by his wife, doing all the shopping, food, decide, and most importantly take care of it. The situation had turned around and had what Cuca always played my doing. Alone, unaided, take care of her, take care of me, the house and my dearest Gatufo.

You're starting to bore Emi, sorry, let's leave it for another time. And the story of your life last looks sad, is not it?.

Whatever you say, whatever your name is, I leave for another time because I too bored with myself remembering certain things that happened five years ago.......so

Adio, so long, Adie, until then or antil nobody knows....

el  gatufo