BAD YEARS

Last years have been not good for thousands of people of this country and for other countries of South Europe or North Africa to say some places of the world not going too far from here, Spain.

Even for Latino America have been bad, after than thousands o people
left their countries looking to be better or searching a new best work.

But they were too bad for millions of people all round the world may be because the crisis now is global.
What affects to Asia or America, affects to Europe or Africa and may be to Oceania despite it is fa away.

It is so obvious that I am not going to write too much about the reasons for this assert: war, hunger, misery, lost of millions of employments, desperation, no hopes and some humans kill themselves because they do not see other way to stop so much suffering.

Talking about myself it has not been a good year too., why?. Not any of the reasons above were my problems, no it has been another reasons more personal that affects my life and the life of people around me.

First, along months I was awaiting a clinical treatment that gave me some hopes to be off from a long dolente I have for too many years.

Finaly all comes and by May I started with the treatment, it was too hard for me and after less than two month I have to finish it.

The doctor was not very pleased with my decision, the same like me, but at those moments I thought I was going to be over for ever.

Good decision or not?, I don´t know but I felt myself at the

other side of life.

It was the end?

No, it was awaiting for me nearly the worst.

What can be worse than dead?

A deep depression my friends.

Nobody that ever has a depression could understand what is it. How a depressive person feels, how bad he/she could feel about nearly everything.

There is not a reason to live, one day after other, and it is not any light ahead, it seems the depression is going to long forever. That is impossible to leave it or to have illusions for life again.

People who love him/her suffer a lot too. A wife, a husband,

friends, nearly everybody is asking what happens with this person who is not the same as before.

So difficult to explain, such a lot of sad feelings, why?

We are a laboratory and our mind depends of some substances that suddenly make your life impossible.

This was the second one I had. First was more than thirty years ago, and after two years of fighting against it just because I have a wife that loves me absolutely and three little girls that need her papi in future.

I love them as the best in my life, but I only could fight light ...without seeing a light for a long long time.

This year when I could see I was going down to a new depression it was horrible. What could I do against it?.

I knew what could be that long long way, but I have my wife that needs me so much..., despite I was doing her life a hell in that moments.

I didn´t write, I didn´t talk, I didn´t want to see any friends, not talk by the phone, nothing...

what it was even worst, by these moment one of my best friends, or the best, was diagnostic a tumor in her esophagus and she has to fight for her life just from that moment. She was helping me along the treatment and now this for her?. It was like a nightmare.

First of last November I began to be better, little by little felt myself better and it was as a miracle.

My family doctor gave me the anti-depressive treatment and I think she was absolutely right.

I follow her instructions absolutely, with faith as she said to me I was going to be out of the illness after all. Be patience she told me, I am sure, you are a strong man....

Miracle? Good medication? I really don´t know, but I was astonished when I could see than l was feeling better after so few time. Three or four months only? Just incredible.

Thanks God, and I am not a believer precisely.

Now here I am, telling you that is possible to go out from a deep depression, to all of you that feel it......Yes it is possible.

Also for people that have to support the person who suffers it, please be patience, it is difficult of understand but it is a chronic disease that need treatment as any other disease.

Desembuches started to be written again, gatufo is now with hopes of being O.K. soon, and I love life even more than before.

I hope this new year 2013 should be good for all of us.

Thank you readers for your patience waiting some months for this blog to appear again.

My best to all of you,

gatufo