jueves, 22 de junio de 2017

QUIEN SOY YO





Cuando voy o vengo acompañado de mi ser estoy
nunca solo me encuentro.
No, yo no me fui presentado ni tampoco me elegí
de repente encontré el ser que soy.
En el que sin querer me he convertido tras largos
años conviviendo conmigo.

¿Quien soy yo?. ¿Quién es ese que siento?, quisiera
saberlo pues con gusto o sin el  siempre viviendo
con mi ser estoy.
Donde quiera que vaya sin elegirme como amigo
allá estará el. ¿Quién es? ¿A quien siento? ¿Alguna
vez lo sabré?.

Soy yo mismo y no me conozco, ni tan siquiera se
si me plazco. ¿Disfruto de mi compañía o no me
aguanto?.
El ser que soy en constante cambio, confuso a veces
me desconcierta tanto que....cuando el equilibrio con
migo hallo, si , entonces al fin descanso.

------------------------



El agua en el desierto, la tabla para el naufrago, el Sol en la playa, la brisa del mar,
el azul en el cielo, para mi eres eso y mucho más.

El te quiero en los labios, el color en el campo, la sombra de un árbol, el susurro
del viento, en mi vida serás eso y mucho más.

El papel para un libro, las cuerdas para una guitarra, el sonido en la voz, el aire
que respiro, el agua para mi vida.

Te necesito tanto y mucho más.



------------------



Dime que no estoy solo pues tengo miedo.
Dime que nunca lo estaré pues de mi no te irás.
Dime que dormirás a mi lado y descansaré.
Dime que tu me amas y seré feliz.

----------------------



Ternura hecha persona, amistad es tu carisma, siempre
fiel al sentimiento.
Amor desbordante, comprensión y cariño, afecto al
encontrarte ayer.
Sentimiento de bondad en tu mirada, fiel amiga, se
siempre como hoy.
Día de una nueva despedida.




(para Camila quien ya partió)

-----------------------



Tristeza por años vividos en mentiras, sin perdón para
tan antiguas ofensas.
Pena por horas gastadas inútilmente con banal palabrería
sobre asuntos olvidados.
Cierto que la cruel memoria trae a los labios de quien
ni vivir sabe en el presente.
Olvidar trataré en el futuro incierto y repetir no espero
la amistad baldía.
En estos días grises de culpa y desengaño, a nada
condujo nuestra relación perdida.

------------------



Me pides no sufrir con tu dolor de hoy, pues incremento tu
angustia cuando en mi la ves.

Alegría tendré aunque yo no la sienta pues se bien mi amor
que aligerar yo puedo.

La pena profunda que embarga tu ser, o el dolor constante
que siento en tu mirada.








el gatufo

NO SE SI VOY






























Largo camino es el vivir, que sin duda recorremos ciegos de conocimiento sobre la ruta a seguir.
Pedimos que Dios nos ilumine, pero nada sabemos del mañana, si vivos seguiremos el camino de la vida.
O ciegos caminaremos hacia lo que inevitable nos espera, para llevarnos mas pronto que tarde, hacia el eterno sin vivir.


No se si voy
No se si vengo
No se a donde voy
No se ni tan siquiera donde estoy

Solo se que 
Caminando voy ¿o vengo?
¿Hacia donde? me pregunto
Un día y otro mas nunca sin parar estoy

Cesaré ¿cuando?
Sin fuerzas tenga para seguir
Recorrer los caminos no podré
Si iba o si venía nuca ya conoceré
Ni  tan siquiera si alguna vez llegué. 

Solo se que te amé
Como nadie ama ya en el mundo
Así te idolatre, vida mía eso si sabre
Hasta entones, amor de mi vida, te querré. 





el gatufo

martes, 20 de junio de 2017

DEPRESSION HAS CURE







Is there something similar to that? Something so bad as living into a deep depression? Something so worst as don´t want to live a single day more? Something like a feeling of not being understood even for the people you love more?.w 
Something so estrange as not having strength to do anything? Something so awful as to be in bed for hours not wanting to know anything about your world, the people you love, your work or interests? Something so peculiar as not be interested about your money, the news, or the friends?. Not wanting to talk with anyone, or seeing other people. not wanting to pick up the telephon and feeling you have not voice, your tune is low, different, you have a continuous pain, it seems the time so long, every day it is a torture and you want only to die as soon as possible?

Such kind of feelings that no body round you, or even yourself can´t understand it is what a depressed person feels for one and another day....til when?. Thats the question repeated several times a day.

It seems that your mind is clear because you may think, you think too much but everything it is without any bright. 
There is not hopes, you feel that have fall in a deep hole and it is nearly imposible to go up from it. 
Yes it seems it is not possible for you to be out from it.
(But it is posible, have in mind that)

Impossible to enjoy your life, you are not hungry, always thirsty because your mouth is dry, so many pills taken gave you a sensation that you need to drink every moment. 
Money for what? You have not any interest in spending it as there is nothing you may feel interested. 
The only thing you want more it is to be in the bed for hours sleeping, without thinking any more.
When you have the sensation of being a trouble to the people you love, you are a burden so heavy that not any body knows what to say you, how to give you any help and it seems you have not any will to get out from that situation. 
You hate any kind of advise friends could gave you, yes it seems easy for them but who could understand the way you are following day after day. 


Such a big effort to survive.

The feeling of being so bad it is going to long for ever, is it just what you think?, what you feel? every morning, a new day for what? to suffer it so many hours? It is better to be asleep as much as possible, not thinking, not seeing any body, not having to talk, not having to live. 

Little by little you think it is better just to be dead, you are a burden and the people you love sure they would be better without you. So why not, it is easy to die when you have not any will to be alive.

But how? when?, which is it the best form?. The insane idea comes and goes continuously once and again along every day, along a week, a month, a year......till when?. For ever?, yes it seems that you, me. are going to live this way without any rest for years, or for ever, who knows?. So great effort to go on a day after another.

What can I said about THAT?.

A single thing... it is not true, it is not true my friends....by all means it si not TRUE.
It is necessary to fix this idea inside your, my, mind deep inside every second you, me, are living this unhappy situation.

After living a depression twice I know that yes, it is possible to be out from it if you fight with all you forces to be out from the black túnel, up from the deep hole you think are being to stay for life, or for too long, so long that you think it could be impossible to resist your sorrows, your insane thoughts, your sadness, your absolute lack of interest about life.

Not anybody may understand what a depressed person is feeling at least for all of them that have not suffered at least one through their life. 
Unthinkable to every one close to you, or me,  how much this depressed person is suffering if you have never gone by a similar situation, and it is best not to have gone ever through it.

Other kind of sickness it is very understable for people despite they have never be sick or have passed through such a bad episode of illness but not a depression if they have not suffered one.
So please, people who knows nothing about it, do not give any advise to a depressed one, it is for nothing and the only result could be to exasperate even more the depressed one.

Living beside a depressed son, wife, father or lover it is like being in hell, you don´t know what to do, what to say, how to cared the loved relative or lover. All seems too difficult, and sometimes the loving relation it is finished after passing through that.
The lover who resist this in his partner it could be because she or he loves very very much, as at the end the atmosphere could be really hard of resisting. 

Yes, having pass through twice living experiences of depression I could know what I am talking about and I know quite well how bad a depression could be for the person who suffers it and the people who is living close to him/her.

There is nothing similar to suffering this illness, because the person who suffers it is sick, very sick by all means, and he/she needs treatment and too much love. Patience, a strong charácter beside him or her, and first of all the idea that at the end this depression has cure. 
Yes it has cure, despite we all think that going through a situation so bad there is not any hope. 

All we need to know and be sure about that, the depressed one first,  it is a period of time that has its end. That it is necessary to much will to go through it day after day, obeying the doctor, taking the pills, eating without any desire, to get up from bed early, to go for a walk once a day or even more, not to think in killing oneself as the best option. No, this option has not return, having depressed has return to a new situation that have positive reactions inside the feelings of people that return from it. Usually for good, yes, we are another kind o person once we feel better, once we feel the depression is off from our soul. Again we enjoy the fact of being alive and we use to be better persons after all.

Life has another meanings so, not everything is bad after all, as which ever thing that makes us suffering  and it don´t kill us ......at the end makes us more strong.
It is for sure, I have the experience already.

Who suffers knows what is the fact of living with this feeling, suffering every momento for a long time, and the lack of it makes us more happy. It is like being born once again.
Usually it makes us more human, we accept better the other people suffers.  

Too much hope for people who can read this, my experience has been bad, too bad for twice but at the end just now I am right. Happy of living again, once time more. With time to reconciliate with my world, with God, with persons that love me or not love me. It is the same, another time, another life, another bright in common things as breath, as seeing a nice picture, or have a good talk.

In the midle of a deep depression, please think that being happy again in future it is possible after all. Have always this thought inside your mind dear friends.


el gatufo



ADAPTARSE O MORIR




Ibiza ha sido un sedante para mis vivencias, respirar aire puro, escuchar el mar, sentir la brisa y los sonidos del agua viva, estar solo consigo mismo, dejar pasar el tiempo sin ninguna prisa, mirar a su alrededor y no ver a nadie, solo el sol, el agua, las algas, el sonido de las olas en su incesante tocar la orilla como queriendo conquistar y el mismo experimentar intimamente la maravillosa sensación de sentirse vivo formando parte de todo aquello le rodeaba.

Fué una buena experiencia de la que regresò profundamente confortado, dispuesto a enfrentar otra vez la continuidad de su vida en Madrid, y afrontar lo que el día a día fuera trayendo consigo.

Ayer el día trajo el anuncio de que había una plaza para su esposa Maria José en una residencia de la Comunidad de Madrid.
Tras escasos cinco meses de espera la noticia esperada se hizo realidad, y por fin un cierto sosiego se fue adueñando de su ser.

Su muy amada Cuca estará finalmente en un lugar donde le van a cuidar, mejor que en ningún sitio pues su enfermedad "esclerosis múltiple" avanza y le va imposibilitando cada vez más.


El desafío de la adaptación y el cambio será para ambos.

Ella verse sola en un lugar extraño y sin su compañero de 46 años que indudablemente es su mejor amigo.
El sentir su ausencia y retornar a la situación de soledad que durante su etapa de muy joven apenas recuerda ya.

Este mes de junio será decisivo en la vida de ella y lógicamente en la de el pues ambos afrontan una nueva etapa de sus vidas separados en lo físico que no en lo espiritual.
Sus mentes seguirán juntas, pensando y sintiendo como si no estuvieran separados. 
Y dará igual donde el decida irse a vivir, aunque de momento continuará en su misma casa, sin su amor cualquier lugar es válido para comenzar la última, o penúltima, etapa en su vida.

Tiene idea de continuar en la vivienda que ha sido de los dos pues aunque ya no tendrá demasiado sentido, tampoco lo tiene embarcarse en nuevos y desconocidos avatares.
Dificil la adaptación a una nueva vida en soledad, peor enfrentar un cambio añadido e irresponsable.

Tenía algun viaje reservado, en teoria puede hacerlos, pero piensa que lo menos malo es permanecer en Madrid acostumbrando su vivir a un hecho insólito, estar viviendo solo por primera vez.

Nunca ha vivido solo, y siempre quiso hacerlo al menos durante un tiempo, y ahora le tocará  estando seguro de que le va a costar muy mucho, no obstante el tiempo lo irá diciendo.

Hacer un diario cotidiano le ayudará a poner en claro sus ideas y vivencias, que luego puede compartir con su compañera de siempre.

Y el tiempo irá pasando depositando polvo sobre todas las vividas emociones hasta que el viento sople y las cenizas junto al polvo vuelen esparcidas por la tierra que les ha sustentado.

Nada quedará de todo esto que hoy parece importante aunque solo sea una ilusión fortuita y pasajera.

el gatufo


SOLEDAD





Toda mi vida viviendo acompañado, mis hermanas, mis padres y sin transición mi esposa, mis hijas, mi esposa enferma y ahora que ella ha ido a una residencia, geriatrico, pues ya no podía seguir en casa con mis cuidados y los de otra persona que me ayudaba, ahora me toca enfrentar el vivir cotidiano en soledad.

Cuarenta y seis años juntos, pasan en un santiamen aunque se atesoran muchas experiencias, y en un día por circunstacias que nadie controla toca enfrentar la vida por tus propios y exclusivos medios como ser humano solo.

Hay quien se pasa casi toda la vida, o gran parte de ella, en solitario. No ha sido mi caso aunque reconozco que en muchas ocasiones he buscado el remanso del silencio, el encuentro con uno mismo, la soledad en suma.

Esto de ahora no es voluntario, las circunstancias de una enfermedad incurable progresiva han hecho que lo no deseado sea una realidad y comienza el periplo de añorar al ser que marchó de su casa y habita en otro lugar rodeada de seres semejantes a ella.
Dejados allí para que otras personas ajenas a su familia les cuiden. Realidad cotidiana cada vez mas frecuente y que deja indenfensos a los mayores desatendidos por sus familias.

No es compasivo con quienes lo han dado casi todo por sus hijos o nietos, y estos muy ocupados o simplemente cómodos les llevan a esos llamados geriatricos o residencias para mayores donde seres que ya no les importan a casi nadie esperan su muerte cuidados mientras tanto por profesionales que cobran por sus servicios.

Ella, mi esposa, si me importa mucho mas de lo que nadie pueda imaginar, pero ante la ya casi imposibilidad de seguir a su lado por su acelerada decadencia he tenido que ceder y seguir los consejos de nuestra doctora y la trabajadora social.
Se que estará bien cuidada, para que dure, e incluso la vida de ahora para ella puede resultar mas entretenida, pero le faltará lo esencial, yo mismo su marido.
Igual que me ocurrirá a mi, hoy por hoy sano y no preparado para acudir a un lugar como ese, un geriátrico o residencia donde exprimen los patrimonios de los mayores o los impuestos que otros ciudadanos pagan para que esos aparca ancianos sean subvencionados parcial o completamente.

Nuestros ancianos estorban, nuestros enfermos estorban, y nuestros bebes tambien estorban y los dejamos en guarderias inconcebibles hace menos de cincuenta años.

No tengo nietos y casi me alegro de que no hayan sido paquetes que dejan en consigna por no poder tenerlos durante largas horas.
Mis hijas fueron cuidadas por sus padres, mi esposa y yo, ella su madre incluso dejó su trabajo en comun acuerdo conmigo para ocuparse de ellas.
No nos gustaban las guarderias, nunca mejor llamadas, guarderias.

¿Quien lo hace ahora?
¿Quien de hecho podría hacerlo?

Esta mal llamada sociedad del "estado del bien estar" se olvida de sus ancianos, los abandona a su soledad, cuidados o no por extraños y permite que sus hijos los eduquen igualmente extraños.

Por mi parte ya paso, tengo edad mas que suficiente para que me importe muy poco lo que vaya a ser de este mundo cruel, ingrato e hipócrita.

Lo dicen con orgullo, cada dia se vive mas, y que?. Significa eso mayor calidad de vida.
Significa eso que los ancianos no son abandonados en geriatricos o sus propias casas.
¿Que hace esta sociedad con sus hijos pequeños?

¿Se hace alguna estadística de las personas que mueren abandonadas en sus viviendas?.
¿De los que se suicidan aniquilados por el sufrimiento o la tristeza?
¿Del maltrato de tantos pequeños?
¿En guarderias o en sus propias casas por padres que no saben que hacer con ellos en las vacaciones, en los fines de semana, o cuando lo recogen ya cansados por sus propios trabajos?

En fin, las reflexiones dan para largo y tendido, no tengo toda la noche y antes o despues ire a dormir.

Ahora estando solo puedo irme a la hora que me de la gana.
Al menos eso de momento es positivo.





sábado, 17 de junio de 2017

JUST LOVE NOTHING MORE





The story of a young woman and a young man, their names are Maria Jose and Emiliano. This happened in Madrid, many years ago, when life was absolutely different from now.
It is the year 1968, a nice young girl, Maria Jose, is attending a class to improve her knowledge for Bank´s operative. Another young man is sitting at her side, his name is Jose Luis, and they have come to the class together. He is in fact her boyfriend.
For Emiliano, who is behind this couple, is his second day in the class, but not for Maria Jose who is coming every day for the last three months.
Sitting with Emiliano there is another young man who’s name is Jesus. The two seems to know each other from before this occasion as they are talking.
When the class is finished and there is a ten minutes relax till the next lesson the Jose Luis gets up and left the class with Jesus. They are talking of football aloud and Maria Jose and Emiliano remind alone.
Maria Jose is conscious of the new comer Emiliano, she wants to be kind with the new student, so relax her body on the wall and turning her head to the right said to the new who is Emiliano.
He, you are a newcomer, aren´t you?
Yes, I am, it is my second day here, but yesterday you haven´t come haven´t you?
No, I can´t, I was with flu in the bed resting.
I am so sorry, are you o.k. already?
More or less, thank you.
So the work is yours?
What do you mean?
The writing about the garbage´s strike in New York is yours?
Yes, it is, why do you say that?
Because I listened to it yesterday and I like it, I like your style of writing so funny, it is a good work.
Thank you very much, by the way what is your name?
My name is Emiliano, and yours? Mine is Maria Jose, but in family use to call me Cuca.
It is a pleasure Maria Jose, or Cuca, don´t you mind if I call you so, do you?
Of course, not, you may call me so. But, sorry emiliano, you have started very late the class, we are attending the lessons for three months already, why are you coming so late?.
Just, because I am in the army, I am doing my duty as a soldier now and it will be till next December more or less that I am going to be a soldier, afterward I´ll return to the bank.
 So, being a soldier you want now to increase your knowledge about the Bank and get a better job inside?.
Yes I would like to do so, the same as you I suppose but not being a soldier, it is enough to be so intelligent and writing so well as you do.
Thank you Emiliano, you are really nice.
No, please, you are the nicest one in this class, Maria Jose.

 
HOW A GIRL LIKE THIS....., SO SHY?

What is this?
How a girl like Maria Jose so shy and respectful as she is, could turn her body to the right and start to talk with a young man she doesn´t know before?
Incredible could think everyone who knows Maria Jose by those time, even now knowing the story and thinking how this shy girl was it seems like odd such a behavior.
Maria Jose was only twenty one and her character was sweet and shy, she is slender nice girl with an incredible smile that Emiliano likes so much, her eyes are clear without a definitive color, it depends of the light.  
Is there something special about this first meeting with Emiliano? It was like a first feeling of what is going to happen years after?
Nobody knows what is life and why these events happens but it was really extraordinary that the girl turned her body right, relaxed on the wall behind and started to talk to the boy that was behind her.
Emiliano is really pleased with that attitude and the only thought he has on his mind is about how much appealing girl she is, how nice and beautiful girl was talking with him the first time they meet and what a pity that this girl he likes a lot is with a boy that now is out. 
Keep out as much as possible unknown young man because I want to continue this conversation with this sweet heart for hours.
Being on this thoughts Emiliano is smiling to her and having not sense of time. 
But time go on and another class starts too soon for his taste, she turn back to her position, looking to the front and everything is over to him. The unknown boy is again to her right side and there is not any conversation till the end that they said each other bye, see you tomorrow.
Something happens after that moment it is that Jesus  who is with Emiliano, a boy he know just a little, said hello to the couple that is leaving the class as he knew them, that´s good, they start to talk together as leaving the academy and going down the stairs to the street.
Of course, Emiliano changes his mind and thoughts in going on with them till the end of the world if it is necessary as he wants to continue his talk with that incredible nice girl that is Maria Jose. 

WALKING UP THE STREET 

Leaving the class and steeping down the stairs to the street, Emiliano’s mind is out of reality.
He likes the girl and nothing more is important at the moment, so he lets the other three free to go where they want to go and he doesn´t ask anything about where they are going to.  
May be it is better to talk in pass, as all these happened a long time ago….. (Once and again we could talk in present to give the story a vivid feeling or reality)
++++
It was cold and the academy was far from his house, he needs to take the subway to return home and have nearly an hour's subway ride to be his parent´s house, but he doesn´t care about all this now, that wasn´t important as it could be in other different circumstances. 
He likes to return home early as getting up at 7 a.m. to go to the army office it was necessary to sleep well at night.
Nothing about this subjects were in Emiliano’s mind now, he only wanted to be close Maria Jose talking, he looks at her face as long as possible, it was like being in heaven, he is thinking.
Maria Jose´s boyfriend was going ahead with the other young man, Jesus, they were talking about football, nearly the subject every man talks about but that wasn´t the theme emiliano likes very much, in fact he knows nothing about sports in general, less about the first one that is football.
The other two young, Maria Jose and emiliano, were walking behind the other two and talking vividly between them.
What were they talking about this couple? Let me see....., yes it is easy to remember because they were talking frequently about the same items that the two were interested.
Music, books, freedom movements like hippies, and so forth.
This walk was not going to be repeated frequently as Emiliano can´t say anything about going on or repeating the walk when he wanted. He was at the will of his friend Jesus, and the will of the couple, so what can be done to be more time close to the girl? nothing in fact, along several days he had to wait to repeat the same walk and of course doing the same thing just talking with Maria Jose, going at her side, looking to her eyes.

Soon these nice walks were going to finish and Emiliano return home as usual, taking the subway in time to be in his bed much sooner than later.

****
Looking to these four people walking up the Jorge Juan street it was something very strange.
Jose Luis, Cuca’s boyfriend, was talking with Jesus, the friend of emiliano. Maria Jose and Emiliano were behind them, two meters approx., talking peacefully about different subjects.
The first theme was about her work of the New York´s garbage strike. In Spain all kind of strikes were forbidden.
He said to her that New York was his dream city where he would like to go in future and be familiar with all aspects of this incredible city.
It seems that the girl, Cuca, and Emiliano know each other for a long time when in fact it was the first time they were walking together, close enough to listen clearly what one of the other were talking about.
In fact this situation was peculiar, we could say, Cuca´s boyfriend talking about football with Angel two or three meter ahead and the other couple, Cuca and Emiliano together talking about different subjects they like to touch and of course for them there were a lot of good subjects instead to be interested instead of football.
Emiliano, more that walking, was floating over the street, talking close near this nice girl as it was Maria Jose.
Where have you been till now? My dear, he was thinking simultaneously to his chat with her.
For him everything was changing inside his mind and heart and he was brilliant as he wasn´t other times that he has to talk.
With her all was different, easy, nice, cool, warm, exited, just falling in love without having sense of it.
Poor boy, soon he was going to see that things were not so easy and it was difficult to repeat this kind of feelings.

It seems there wasn´t anything round him, no people, no cars, no time, nothing, only this nice beautiful girl whose name was Maria Jose, or Cuca? like she was called by frieds, but that boy who is at her side doesn´t call her Cuca, he always says Maria Jose, is he the excepcion? Thinks Emilliano, and where have gone him between class and class. That is a mystery but it has been so good giving them the chance to talk, it is possible that he use to do this way, thinks Emiliano, giving him a good opportunity to talk more time.  
Their talks goes to the end, the other boys wait for them and Jesus says good bye to the couple, Maria Jose house it is near and now Emiliano knows they were going till the girl´s house. 
Yes, that was the end of the walk, Cuca´s home in Hermosilla Street, ten minutes, may be some from the class till the Maria Jose´s house.  
Short walk, very short if we have in mind he would like walking with the girl for hours of for his full life with that girl called Maria José, he likes so much.

These feelings were inside him, being not consciously known by this young man who was son fascinated by the girl walking at his side. What could happened if this man, emiliano, could be fully aware he was falling in love? 
Nobody knows as love wounds are very painful and hurts a lot in the heart of a young boy or girl by those or always ever time round the world.


DREAMS.

It seems this world is a joke, this boy emiliano was a difficult one, he has tastes that not other boys have.
He doesn´t like football or bull fights, he doesn´t like flamenco or other Spanish music, he does like classical music, rock, folk, and other kind of music not one knows round him, he likes to study English instead of French that was the language that was studied in Spain for those years, no body he knew was studying English, but what he most likes it was just to read, always reading with a book under his arm, in the subway, in the bus, in the short times when there was a rest, and so forth, he doesn´t find his place in the world he was living so he wanted to go out from it. Just to be off as soon as possible that was his inner desire.
In fact he was waiting to finish his military service in the army, it was obliged for that time and without doing this service he couldn´t go to the foreigner as it was impossible to get the passport to be off from his country. First military service, being in the army nearly two years was an obligation to all the boys when they were twenty years old. No one could elude this subject and Emiliano was really angry of having to be in the army like a soldier.

So yes, emiliano was somehow odd, serious, studying English by those time, thinking in going far away from his land immediately he finished in the army and return to the bank work previously to obtain his absence once a period of five year working inside the company were fulfilled.
He was going to ask for and absence of two years at work as soon as he could and have his work assured if he return back after the two years. For that it was necessary to work in the company for five years as it is said above and it was his goal in a short period of time. Just improve his knowledge of English, get more money in the company, and ask for his absence to go...., where to go?, easy for him as he was thinking the possibility since a long time.
Inside his mind wasn´t the idea of any return to Spain, not, but who knows about future, it was better just to have something to grasp here if things in Canada could be go badly.
Canada was his will, Columbia Britannica and if could be possible to Vancouver.

He have finished his studies of designer in the high school and wanted to work on this profession instead of a Bank which was really boring and difficult if you don´t know the language perfectly.
Looking at him we could say he was a young with a fix idea in his mind and he was working to realize it, nothing about girls, romance and so on. The way was clear for this boy and there was a long time he didn´t think in other things. 
Just going out from this his world that he doesn´t like at all. So it was a long time he like a girl, it is a subject really difficult as there is not one that really like to him. A problem as year were passing and real love was out from his life.
Suddenly, without noticing it, a new feeling was growing up inside his heart or his soul, a feeling it was going to change his life for ever and ever. 
All his projects were going to be off and he will remain in Madrid for all his life.
That´s life after all, we have our dreams that frequently can be real because something happens, it could be for good or not, who knows but somehow we are not owners of our destiny despite we think we are. 
Great mistake, we don´t know anything about future. What about the girl?
Just a good question, as this two persons were absolutely different in their thought of their own world, the city were they were living, and their idea of future.

But this is another story to talk next episode.

A LOOK INSIDE THE GIRL  


Who was Cuca?. 
What was this girl doing in a place like Jorge Juan´s Academy and even more important, why she was dating this young man Jose Luis who was a so different type of the other boy emiliano.

Now emiliano has enough information to look inside Cuca’s soul, her life and her reasons and as a puzzle everything match with this lovely young lovely girl. 

What is clear now and years later is that this girl was the only one who could change Emiliano’s mind to stay in Madrid and change all his ideas of going off Spain. 


Not knowing what it was happening he fall in love with her, and love change everything, love changed which ever previous idea a man or a woman could have or think in doing, before the Cupid’s arrow was inserted inside their hearts.
Once the arrow is shot everything started to change and brilliant colors are round the young eyes, all is magic and things seems so wonderful.
Who was this girl and what did she have to shock that way Emiliano’s soul and mind? Bright, own light that illuminates the life of him just since the first sight at her?
Looking at her, listening her voice everything was bright, he felt himself peaceful, relaxed, cheerful, brilliant, everything disappeared less her, time doesn´t count any more as he felt as having in heaven when he was close to this girl.Emiliano knew nothing of her in those time and it was not necessary for him, he liked Maria Jose so much that he didn´t need anything more, there is time later for everything, but we need to know just a little about this young girl who was studying to improve her position in the same bank like him.

Now everything is known of Cuca life and it is easy to tell how she was by the time she was studying, close near the person who was going to be her love, friend, and husband for life.
First of all this anticipated considerations,  she was grateful with the boy called Jose Luis, just so grateful as to give him hopes about getting married in a short period of time. 
Why?. Well it is a long story that afterward was clear for emiliano but not at the moment as he can not explained himself what she was doing with that Jose Luis boy.


Maria Jose was working in the bank at the age of 19 years old. She came from another company “Deutz Ag” a German company that
was established in Spain too. 

This large Company make “truck tractors” and other kind of machines to work in the country fields.

She need to work soon, despite she was a smart girl who could go the university if that could be possible, but it wasn´t.
Her father had died when she was 13 years old and instead of going to the university she went to work at the age of 17 in the large German Company established in Madrid.


After a year working in Deutz she started to study to get a job in Hispano Americano Bank, and got it. 
With eighteen years old she was working in the Head Office of this mentioned bank.
This Head Office was placed in Pza. Canalejas 1 of Madrid and it was a large building where there were more than two thousand employees inside. One of them was Cuca, other was the boy, Jose Luis,  she was dating when she first met Emiliano, so the three of them were working in the same place.

Never Emiliano have seen Cuca before, neither her saw him till the moment they were in the academy on the first days of February. 
WORKING
With eighteen years old our dear girl was working inside the Banco Hispano Americano, at first she was not happy with the change. 
She was happy working in Deutz, the German Company, even she started to learn German as inside her mind was the possibility of going to Germany to work over there.

She was young, she was less of twenty one years old, and her mother had the last word if she wanted to go out home.
Yes, that was the real state of a woman, or a girl with less than 21 years, she was on charge of her parents, her mother, or her husband. 

A woman can´t  go to a country of Europe like Germany if she was less than 21 years and her mother, in the case of Cuca, said NO.

Her mother instead thought it could be better that this girl get a job in the Banco Hispano where his brother was working already. So, her mind will be out of the idea or going out and trying to work in Germany. 

Cuca wa a nice good daughter, and said “yes mom” and started to learn Bank´s business to get a seat in this Bank.
On the year 1964 with eighteen years Cuca was working in the Bank instead of Deuth, her studies of German was over, and she began to study French instead.
Inside the Bank offices there were hundreds of young people working. Lots of young girls and some boys too.
Work was easy those years and there was the option of getting a job in the Bank Offices nearly every year, Banesto, Central, Hispano, Bilbao Vizcaya, Santander, were banks than usually have lot of places to these young of the sixties.
Nothing was necessary to get the job, not any high studies, only make a hard exam and get the place.
If a young have high studies it was better for her/him as the Company gave some points to add to their exam.
Cuca was a good student, in fact she have liked to go to the university if that could have been possible, but without a father and with a widow mother without any pension it was necessary that this girl works very soon.

Working in a bank was good, nice people inside, a seat to be resting the full day while you work, not having to be up so many time as other kind of works, and lot of young people like you that make a fuss frequently, talking aloud in the dinner room when they spent the half an hour free time to lunch.
Soon this girl make some friends inside the Bank Office, and started to have something similar like a club of girls and boys that goes to the mountains in winter or to the swimming pool in summer. 
Life was easy and funny for all these people of similar age and time enough when they get out from the Bank office.
Madrid was a nice big city to live and to go every place without any danger. 
You could walk along the streets without not any problems, not thief or bad people, the dictator was strong and the police were looking to have peace on the streets.
Tourists were coming to Spain those years and life seems beauty and very easy of living.

Cuca with some money of her own bought a pair of skis, (long slender runners made of wood, plastic or metal used in gliding over the snow) and started to go to the mountains near Madrid.
She wanted to learn how to ski and have fun every weekend of winter.
LIFE WAS EASY

Life was easy on those years for the young people in Spain.
They have work in several big companies that were growing up on the sixties and even Beatles have been in Madrid on the second of July 1965 and it was like a earthquake for the life of millions of young people.
 
Why not going to learn how to ski on the weekends?.
 
Just said and done. Cuca started to go to the mountains near the capital because she wanted to ski like other thousands of locals who went to Navacerrada and try to slide down the snow more harm than good.
 

Yes, Cuca had a nice funny life as a young of 19 years old in the Spanish life of 1965, with a good work, leaving the Bank office at a good hour and going in winter weekends to ski the Madrid´s mountains close near the big city.
 
By those time also emiliano was going to the mountains in winter, but he didn´t want learn how to ski at it seems difficult and dangerous for him.

Yes, it was dangerous, poor Cuca broke a hip instead of learn to ski and everything changed for her.
Cuca´s life started to be different as everything seems to go wrong with her broken hip, it needed a surgical operation delayed by a strong cold that complicated the surgical result of the operation. 
After some time of been operated she was bad, the poor girl have pain in her leg and she couldn´t walk properly and have to be in plaster for about a year, still without power out to the street, reading, listening to music, receiving many visits at the beginning and not so many after a few months.
 
After all life continue for her friends that after going to see her frequently, started to recover their youth and they went again to dance and to the swimming pool in summer.
 
Meanwhile cuca remained at home still hoping to recover from a very bad surgery.
 
But not all her friends went to the swimming pool with the other, there was one whose name was José Luis that being in love with Cuca take this opportunity to visit her frequently. 


What happened after a year of entering the House, talk to the mother, the brother of the girl, these visits? Well, it is easy to imagine, both ended up being boyfriends and later fiancé
Cuca felt that their wings were cut forever and she had a lot of time to think about.
First goal for her was to be o.k., but this new situation was going to take a long time for this young girl.


Day after day she received the visit of this young man who were in love with her.
He was a boy with a past mind, old mind respect everything about relationship between girls and boys, wife and husband, the paper of a wife at home and the different paper of the husband.
 
Soon this will be so evident that the the girl had to reconsider the situation which was doomed if continued relationship with this young man too old ideas about marriage and lot of subjects.
 

It has to wait a sometime yet to change everything in the life of our dear Cuca who knew nothing about her life in future.
First she thought about her life together with this young man Jose Luis who was going every day to see her at home.
 
After some months of coming to see her he requested her to be his girlfriend, what to say? What to do, being so grateful to him?.
Evidently, yes, Cuca will be his girlfriend till the moment they will promised each other what could be a complete disaster for ever.

After all this not happened as future keeps some surprises for this girl, either for Jose Luis and Emiliano, the boy who was out her life for the moment.
 
This would be not for long, future has a paper for this boy who was outside of these events.
UP AND DOWN

What to say when a nice boy who is coming to see you every day? When you are going through difficult days? and this boy ask you to be his girlfriend?, may be to go into your house easily, without any comments?.
 
Now it could be seen as natural, a friend goes to see another friend but we are talking about what happened in Spain more than forty years and this kind of relationship was unusual.  
 
I don´t know really but it is necessary to be in the body of a girl that has to be a year with a plaster from just below her breasts down to the right foot and this person has to remain at home without going any place.
 
She was so rigid that she can´t even take anything up from the floor or going to bath because she can´t bend and seat on a chair or upon the close toilet.
Her vital functions have to be done on the bed upon a wedge along a year and she was really tired of being so.

Yes, it was very hard for her, after her hip was broken everything goes wrong with the surgery and it was necessary to plast nearly all her body as I said before.

What the girl says it is easy of imagine if she is a grateful girl that have a sense of gratitude and justice for this boy.
So, little by little Cuca started to date Jose Luis, first in her house when he comes to see her, but once a year past when she was better and Cuca could walk the situation of being engaged with the boy was official, settle with an engagement ring.

Nearly a year was necessary for Cuca to be better and coming back to work despite rehabilitation was necessary and not everything was o.k. with her hip.

It is possible that a feeling of gratitude could be confused with love?. No, of course, when you first fall in love you know this is quite different, gratitude is not love and you need to love to see what this feeling is.
This will happen soon to this girl whose name was Cuca, and she has to break with her engagement to get off from a confused situation that was carrying her to the abysm of a bad marriage, an anticipated
disaster that was necessary to stop if she wanted to be happy in her life.
Difficult, just difficult to stop her feelings with her fiancé, how and why when gratitude are inside her heart and she didn´t want to hurt her boyfriend?.
Good questions about what human feelings are but we are anticipating the story and we like to stand at the point of Cuca being  engaged to this boy, Jose Luis, and returning back to her work after a year of standby at home.

It has been very hard for this young girl who was living her youth among other girls and boys of her same age. Stop to her trips to the mountains, stop with her funny life of twenty, daily pain was in her body that would change her life for long.

Poor Cuca, it was hard for her to stay home so long with such a lot of difficulties and after a year returning to daily life limping with great pain in her hip. It was so painful that she had to do six months or more of rehabilitation to walk more or less properly while she was returning back to the bank.
Everything was different to this young girl and her world changed so fast that she was an adult of great character instead of a young girl of only twenty years old.


Yes, It has been like a nightmare but it will be real for this young girl who was living her youth among other girls and boys of her same age. Stop to her trips to the mountains, stop with her funny life of twenty, daily pain was in her body for long and she would change her life some way stopping her funny cheerful way of living.

Life was different, pain, responsibilities and suffering was inside her soul and she was looking life with new eyes.
How long was going her to support this situation of not loving date with a boy?.
Well this is left to next episode.....
 


TOGETHER? NOT YET 
Again in the academy we have two young persons, a girl called Maria Jose and a boy called Emiliano. None of them knew nothing about the other, but the shy girl started to talk with emiliano.
He, you are a new comer she said.
Yes I am, my name is emiliano.
Mine is Maria Jose, is it your first day here?
No, I came yesterday but you were not here.
Yes, I was at home just a little sick.
Are you well now?
Yes, of course, it was something very common.
Then, the professor gives a paper to the girl and say her that her exercise of rubbish strake in N.Y., was o.k., but he thinks she could do a better redaction next.
Emiliano look at her with a smile on his face and says; so the exercise was of yours, I liked it very much when Mr. Pelegrín read it yesterday aloud, I thought it was funny and was looking for the person who writes it, so now I have found the person, you, congratulations it is a nice very good exercise.
 Oh, thank you emiliano, you are really kind.
No, I am not, that´s the truth Maria José.
Thank you again.
Talking that way they remain for ten minutes, suddenly the boy who was out (the boyfriend of her thought emiliano) returned and the conversation was over.
What a pity, thought emiliano, what a nice beautiful girl is this one Maria Jose, I would like to talk more with her.... emiliano thoughts were very fast always, and without knowing nothing about the girl he thought she was really very nice and cheerful.  
What are she doing  with this boy?, what different they are, thought by himself this boy in his second day at Jorge Juan academy, and he was right without knowing anything about the girl and her boyfriend. 
They were absolutely different and soon these differences will be so evidently that their life will turn and will separate one from the other forever.
No one of the three young’s know anything about this premise, future is always ahead our life and we know nothing about tomorrow.
With this feelings and thoughts the end of the class was soon and he find himself walking beside Cuca, talking with her vividly, how has been so?, no matter, he was cheerful and happy to be at her side going up Jorge Juan street.
Till where?, it doesn´t matter to him, it was just a pleasure to be close this nice beautiful girl who was absolutely new for him.
Yes, this situation was repeated sometimes along February, March and even April, till a day in this last month when Maria Jose came to the class without her boyfriend Jose Luis.
This day was crucial in the life of them both, it was a day to remember always for them in future as being alone for nearly one hour inside the class they could talk for long feeling themselves very close.
They were so comfortable talking one with the other that without knowing what was happening it was clear for emiliano that he likes Maria Jose and she started to think what was she doing dating with a boy with she could not talk as well as she was doing with this one?, for her emiliano was a nice boy to talk with and she feel very comfortable being at his side.
WORKING AND LIVING EASY  

With eighteen years old our dear girl was working inside the Banco Hispano Americano, at first she was not happy with the change. 
She was happy working in Deuth, the German Company, even she started to learn German as inside her mind was the possibility of going to Germany to work over there.
She was young, she was less of twenty years old, and her mother had the last word if she wanted to go out home or to another country.
Yes, that was the real state of a woman, or a girl with less than 21 years, she was on charge of her parents, her mother, or her husband.
A woman can not go to a country of Europe like Germany if she was less than 21 years and her mother, in the case of Cuca, said NO.
Her mother instead thought it could be better that this girl get a job in the Banco Hispano Americano where his brother was working already.
So, doing that Cuca´s thoughts will be out of the idea or going out and trying to work in Germany.
Cuca was a nice good daughter, and said “yes mom” and started to learn Bank´s business to get a seat in this Hispano Americano Bank.
On the year 1964 being eighteen years old, Cuca was working in the Bank instead of Deuth, her studies of German was over, and she began to study French instead.

Inside the Bank´s offices there were hundreds of young people working. Lots of young girls and some boys too with similar age of Cuca´s.
By those years the Bank would be like a marriage agency, couples were formed very fast but years after the Bank should be like a divorce site where hundreds of persons were divorced, life if so and nobody knows anything about future.
Divorce was not allowed by these years in Spain, it has to come democracy and new laws to allow divorces, secular marriages, and other kind of free customs not so well. Drugs were ahead on the eighty years but even worse Side should be a plague among the young people.

But this is another story, just the story of a country that went from a dictator to a democracy in a SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

+++++

Work was easy those years and there was the option of getting a job in several Banks in Madrid city, nearly every year, Banesto, Central, Hispano, Bilbao Vizcaya, Santander, were banks than usually have lot of places to these young that were living on the sixties years in this country called Spain.
Not everything was bad living in this dictatorial society that was ruling everything in the nation. 

There was not political freedom, not freedom to opposite the Franco´s dictator regimen, not freedom to get a divorce, not sex freedom at all, not news freedom who said what was happening in the world, censure was making extra hours with the movies, the books, the newspaper and so forth, but
some good forms of easy way of living was up those years.
 Soon the May´s 1968 Paris Revolution was going to happen and everything will be changing soon, for good? for bad?  Who knows?
There are opinions of all kind as humans are quite complicated......sorry, again "this is other story".
Let us continue with our girl....Nothing was necessary to get the job, not any high studies, only make a hard exam and get the place.
If a young have high studies it was better for her/him as the Company gave some points to add to their exam.

Cuca was a good student, in fact she have liked to go to the university if that could have been possible, but without a father and with a widow mother without any pension it was necessary that this girl works very soon.
Working in a bank was good, nice people inside, a seat to be resting the full day while you work, not having to be up so many time as other kind of works, and lot of young people like you that make a fuss frequently, talking aloud in the dinner room when they spent the half an hour free time to lunch.
Soon this girl make some friends inside the Bank Office, and started to have something similar like a club of girls and boys that goes to the mountains in winter or to the swimming pool in summer. 

Life was easy and funny for all these people of similar age and time enough when they get out from the Bank office.
Madrid was a nice big city to live and to go every place without any danger. 
You could walk along the streets without not any problems, not any thief or bad people, the dictator was strong and the police were looking to have peace on the streets.
Tourists were coming to Spain those years and life seems beauty and very easy of living.
Cuca with some money of her own bought a pair of skis, (long slender runners made of wood, plastic or metal used in gliding over the snow) and started to go to the mountains near Madrid.
She wanted to learn how to ski and have fun every weekend of winter.


LIFE WAS SIMPLE

Life was easy on those years for the young people in Spain, of course if they don´t go in trouble about political ideas.
There wasn´t liberty to think or to have a public opinion about what was happening out the world or inside the country.
Strikes were forbidden, political parties were not allowed and even manifestations on the street were also forbidden.
The Regimen was always on the TV giving the people, bullfights, football, and music festivals, nothing about free speech or free opinion on the papers.
Even so young people have work in several big companies that were growing up on the sixties and even Beatles have been in Madrid on the second of July 1965 and it was like a earthquake for the life of millions of young people.
Why not going to learn how to ski on the weekends?.
Just said and done. Cuca started to go to the mountains near the capital because she wanted to ski like other thousands of locals who went to Navacerrada and try to slide down the snow more harm than good.
Yes, Cuca had a nice funny life as a young of 19 years old in the Spanish life of 1965, with a good work, leaving the Bank office at a good hour and going in winter weekends to ski the Madrid´s mountains close near the big city.
By those time also emiliano was going to the mountains in winter, but he didn´t want learn how to ski at it seems difficult and dangerous for him.
Yes, it was dangerous, poor Cuca broke a hip instead of learn to ski and everything changed for her.
Cuca´s life started to be different as everything seems to go wrong with her broken hip, it needed a surgical operation delayed by a strong cold that complicated the surgical result of the operation.
After some time of been operated she was bad, the poor girl have pain in her leg and she couldn´t walk properly and have to be in plaster for about a year, still without power out to the street, reading, listening to music, receiving many visits at the beginning and not so many after a few months.
After all life continue for her friends that after going to see her frequently, started to recover their youth and they went again to dance and to the swimming pool in summer.
Meanwhile Cuca remained at home still hoping to recover from a very bad surgery.
But not all her friends went to the swimming pool with the other, there was one whose name was José Luis that being in love with Cuca take this opportunity to visit her frequently.
What happened after a year of entering the Cuca´s house, talk to the mother, the brother of the girl, these visits?. Well, it is easy to imagine, both ended up being boyfriends and later fiancé.
Cuca felt that their wings were cut forever and she had a lot of time to think about.
First goal for her was to be o.k., but this new situation was going to take a long time for this young girl.
Day after day she received the visit of this young man who were in love with her.
He was a boy with a past mind, old mind respect everything about relationship between girls and boys, wife and husband, the paper of a wife at home and the different paper of the husband.
Soon this will be so evident that the girl had to reconsider the situation which was doomed if continued relationship with this young man too old ideas about marriage and lot of subjects.
It has to wait a sometime yet to change everything in the life of our dear Cuca who knew nothing about her life in future.
First she thought about her life together with this young man Jose Luis who was going every day to see her at home.
After some months of coming to see her he requested her to be his girlfriend, what to say? what to do, being so grateful to him?.
Evidently, yes, Cuca will be his girlfriend till the moment they will promised each other what could be a complete disaster for ever.

After all this not happened as future keeps some surprises for this girl, either for Jose Luis and Emiliano, the boy who was out her life for the moment.
This would be not for long, future has a paper for this boy who was outside of these events.


TOGETHER? NOT YET
Again in the academy we have two young persons, a girl called Maria Jose and a boy called Emiliano. None of them knew nothing about the other, but the shy girl started to talk with emiliano.
- He, you are a new comer she said.
Yes I am, my name is emiliano.
Mine is Maria Jose, is it your first day here?
No, I came yesterday but you were not here.
Yes, I was at home just a little sick.
Are you well now?
Yes, of course, it was something very common.
Then, the professor gives a paper to the girl and say her that her:
Exercise of rubbish strake in N.Y., was o.k., but he thinks she could do a better redaction next.
Emiliano look at her with a smile on his face and says; so the exercise was of yours, I liked it very much when Mr. Pelegrín read it yesterday aloud, I thought it was funny and was looking for the person who writes it, so now I have found the person, you, congratulations it is a nice very good exercise.
 Oh, thank you emiliano, you are really kind.
No, I am not, that´s the truth Maria José.
Thank you again.
Talking that way they remain for ten minutes, suddenly the boy who was out (the boyfriend of her thought emiliano) returned and the conversation was over.
What a pity, thought emiliano, what a nice beautiful girl is this one Maria Jose, I would like to talk more with her.... emiliano thoughts were very fast always, and without knowing nothing about the girl he thought she was really very nice and cheerful.  
What are she doing  with this boy?, what different they are, thought by himself this boy in his second day at Jorge Juan academy, and he was right without knowing anything about the girl and her boyfriend. 
They were absolutely different and soon these differences will be so evidently that their life will turn and will separate one from the other forever.
No one of the three young’s know anything about this premise, future is always ahead our life and we know nothing about tomorrow.  
With this feelings and thoughts the end of the class was soon and he find himself walking beside Cuca, talking with her vividly, how has been so?, no matter, he was cheerful and happy to be at her side going up Jorge Juan street.
Till where?, it doesn´t matter to him, it was just a pleasure to be close this nice beautiful girl who was absolutely new for him.
Yes, this situation was repeated sometimes along February, March and even April, till a day in this last month when Maria Jose came to the class without her boyfriend Jose Luis.
This day was crucial in the life of them both, it was a day to remember always for them in future as being alone for nearly one hour inside the class they could talk for long feeling themselves very close.
They were so comfortable talking one with the other that without knowing what was happening it was clear for emiliano that he likes Maria Jose and she started to think what was she doing dating with a boy with she could not talk as well as she was doing with this one?, for her emiliano was a nice boy to talk with and she feel very comfortable being at his side.

INSIDE THE INSTITUTE´S CLASSROOMS

There we are, Jorge Juan Institute and a new pupil sitting in a desk. It is Emiliano on his first day of class. To him all is new, there is a long time since the last time he was sitting on a desk watching round him all the people who will be his partners, even the professor it is a new face. He doesn´t know anybody, no that´s no true, there is a known face he knew from the mountains trips, yes Jesus, a nice boy who shared the bed room sometimes when they go to the Hispano Club. 

That´s good, it is better to have a known face if you are a new comer that goes late, when the course has opened since a month o two ago.
 
Shake hands, how are you? And they sit together, that´s right.  
 How long is he going to be here?, till June more or less, when first test at the Bank Office will be, if he pass the first it will be another test may be in September, close near to get his license from the army that will be in December.
Emiliano´s mind was thinking all these subjects while the professor was reading some writing works about a rubbish strike in New York.
A rubbish strike in New York?, funny, here in Spain strikes are forbidden by the law and it is difficult to imagine something like a rubbish strike, at least we are in winter he thinks.
Pelegrin, the professor, started to read another work and the new comer emiliano stop thinking and put some attention to the new reading. Nice, a nice work with humor and very good written he thinks, let see who is the author. No author, the girl who writes it has not come today, who could be? He say to him, I would like to know.
Next day Emiliano was again in the class and take a sit just behind a couple, a young boy and a very young nice girl, really nice he thinks.
He has arrived with Jesus who seems to know the boy and the girl, emiliano was sitting silence watching everything with his eyes looking at the nice girl who was also silence watching the two boys talk.
When the class was over, Jesus and the other boy, Jose Luis, left the class and the girl was alone, just the same like emiliano. 
Suddenly she turn her body, relax on the wall, look at him and said:
He, you are a new comer, aren´t you?. Yes, of course, it is my second day here.
After a while of some talk the new professor comes to the class and gives a paper to her saying it is a good work.
So, it is from you, emiliano says, it is very good, funny and very good written, I like it very much.
How do you know, says her. Well, yesterday Pelegrín read it and I think it was the best of all.
Thank you very much, uhm, your name please? Emiliano, and yours? Maria Jose but friends call me Cuca.  
Nice to meet you Cuca, just a pleasure.
++++++
Everything about this story started so, Cuca turning her body to the right, relaxing her back on the wall and greeting emiliano with her word, he, you are a new comer, aren´t you?. 
Why she do such a thing? There is not any explanation as Cuca was a shy girl that doesn´t speak with people she doesn´t know.
 Why for she does such step?.  Along years this couple has been for long thinking what happened to her to do such a thing so odd in her way of doing. 
She has done this gesture for the best, as the story of these two young
 persons started just from this moment. 
In Spanish could be,  Hola, tu eres nuevo, no?.
 She knows perfectly well emiliano is a new comer so the real motive for her could be she wants to talk with this boy. 
Is this a mutual crush? A Cupid’s arrow?.
 
It could be, but we have to wait some months to see it.
 
Yes, of course, some moths because Cuca is dating with Jose Luis (in fact she was engaged with him) and emiliano is a serious boy that doesn´t want to interfere in a love relation, which ever kind of relation it could be. 
 That´s not the way of emiliano actions and for him, a serious person, that kind of behavior could be not ethic.  Silly boy after all, as in love of war there are not rules.  
Evidently, he likes the girl, very much ended, but she was dating another boy, such a problem, but to talk with her or going out with both it is nice for him and he doesn´t think in other subject that following their talking outside the Jorge Juan Institute.
 
In future he could repeat these actions some times, not very frequently
 as he would like to do, but it wasn´t in his will as he doesn´t know the boy or the girl enough to ask them for a walk. It was always the other boy Jesus who likes to talk with Jose Luis about football and emiliano has his chance when the two boy where talking ahead walking up till Cuca, yes Cuca, house. 
After two months everything will be finished as Cuca and the boy will change their desks in the class, and emiliano has less opportunities of talking with the girl.
 Having this in mind, he goes back the class and watched the couple curiously asking by himself "what have seen this incredible nice girl in a boy like Jose Luis", it is a mystery for emiliano and he thinks that the boy is handsome, good looking, and physical attraction was the only motive for her. Other reasons are unthinkable for emiliano as this boy Jose Luis seems very simple minded for him, but who knows girls?. What is in the soul of a girl?, what is the choice of a girl like this one, Cuca?, only physical attraction?.
I don´t think so, were the thoughts of emiliano, it have to be something more as the girl is intelligent, nice, beautiful, well she has everything I like in a girl and it is sure I WILL BE HAPPY WITH HER FOR EVER, if she choose me and love me as I want, just a pity she is dating already. I don´t like to suffer it is better to put some distance, was his feelings without being alert about them. 
Poor boy Emiliano, he is hard inside his heart about falling in love with the first o second girl he could meet, or the hundred or thousand that is his way of feeling. 
 Difficult to find a girl who could like him specially and the one he meets is engaged?. There is not a reason for that, so many time alone without a loving one, and now.....nothing? 
Be in you boy, don´t lament anything, you are going to the bank soon and afterward you´ll be out of Spain and could know a blonde girl in Canada that make you happy.


SPRING IS COMING  
 
They would like to talk for ever, at least emiliano, but it was complicated for this couple.
After two months Cuca and Jose Luis take their seat at the first row of the class, why?. Nobody knows, but emiliano are not behind them anymore. There are not more opportunities for Cuca and emiliano to talk one with the other when there is a short between two classes. Finally Emiliano take his seat at the end of the class room in the last row.  From this situation he could watch everything round him and frequently his sight was fix on the back of Maria Jose. He are thinking nothing, nothing at all as this girl has her boyfriend at her side and there some things it is not possible to change. Not hoping anything he frequently thinks on her, he thinks that with this girl he could be happy for ever. She is the one, the one he likes absolutely and it is out hand, or out his heart already as this by doesn´t like to suffer. Why for suffering or thinking impossible goals?. 
Little by little things settle down, feelings start to be cold and every one of the boys attend their lessons of countability, composition and commercial mathematics. It is necessary to do this if they want to pass the exams at the bank.
 
There will be two exams at the Bank, the two will be written exams. First one of count ability, language, mathematics with two or three problems, composition, and even some other tests of general culture.
 
Once the first exam will be pass for some of the students will be a second one about Bank´s Office themes, and this will be very difficult as it is necessary to learn lot of commercial terms of the own Bank.
 
First exam will be taken on first days of June, and the other will be on October in other to give some time to study the Bank´s subjects. 
 
All the candidates that approve the final exam of October will take a place in the Bank offices as first official inside the Bank organization.
 That will attached a significant increase of the month salary but even a reward of money for the time this charge of official could be free without being covered.  It could be a lot of money by the difference between the salary of an auxiliary and the official´s salary obliged in that site since a long time.
Emiliano and every one of the candidates want a good exam result and consequently a good number to take the older official sites, as much time without being covered the official place more money to earn. So, it was not enough to pass the exam, Emiliano wants a good number to get a nice sum of money.
What for Emiliano wants the money?, just to save it and get enough savings to go soon to Canada.  It could be twisted but he wants to be official not to work in the Bank in a better place, no, that was not the point. He wants the money to be off from the Bank and from the country.
So, in a short period of time he was thinking all these subjects and fix his attention on the studies, just a good help to keep away his mind from the nice girl who has taken his heart so strongly.
Meanwhile this boy was doing his military service at the mornings with different people and an absolute strictly atmosphere. Where is Emiliano doing his service?, that´s good question an it is secret by the moment as he is in the Secret Military Service trying to be invisible over there.  Invisible and without thought, just doing his duty that is typing secret documents with the typewriter. His mouth is shut, his eyes don´t see anything and his mind is empty.  
Being inside his thoughts are on the left side, so it is funny that he is in the Secret State sharing secrets of the moment. Listening to the police radio station, taking notes about what is happening in the State, and afterward typing them to the colonel who is in charge of the secret Service. Emiliano doesn´t wear his soldier uniform anymore and he is happy about the subject.  Type the documents every morning, give them to the official in charge and he doesn´t think any more.  He is just awaiting to next December to be off from the army forever. Nothing to be with this people as in fact they are nice and good educated.  Not any problem disturb him in the office, so days pass fluently and happy thoughts were always in his mind. 
Meanwhile what is doing Cuca?. Well, she is working in the head office of the Bank and doing some rehabilitation to her leg. Never she talk about this question with Emiliano the same as he neither talk of his morning work to her or to anybody, it is just secret inside his mind and he likes not to remember anything once he is out the Office.
Difficult to tell what you don’t remember, that is Emiliano´s attitude.


THE SUN SHINES ONCE AGAIN 

Time is passing on and everything reminds the same in the life of this two young people. 
Both of them were studying, working in the mornings and going to the academy at evenings.
 
They don´t speak to much now, being separate in class it is difficult to talk, beside inside Emiliano´s mind there is something similar as being on guard against his inner feelings about the girl. 
 He likes her a lot, but better not to think too much just the same as he does with his morning work. He types thinking another subjects and Emiliano is at the class room looking at her thinking on his future projects. Lessons are very easy for him so it not requires a big effort to get everything in his mind. 
Emiliano had been a student till the age of 21 years old, he is designer, and before getting his work at Bank he was studying to be an engineer, so this kind of Bank´s studies are really easy for him.
 
Not and extra effort is necessary to him so his mind is free to be thinking in his future far away from Spain with his eyes looking to that girl who is seating at the first row of the class room.
 
Without knowing what he does he looks at the girl with pleasure and he is alert to all her movements.
 
Day after day the class room is full of young people that wanted the same goal that our friends, Cuca, Emiliano, Jose Luis and Jesus.

Nothing remains calm for long and this situation is going to break quite soon.
Spring has come, Emiliano’s blood is hotter in this beautiful season in Madrid city. 
Something good is going to happens that could change the life of these young persons. 
 Cuca and Emiliano are not aware of what destiny has reserved them, may be "God ways are inscrutable" and it was not said the last word about the relationship of them.  
A day of April the girl has come alone to the class room and she is waiting the teacher siting on her desk in the firs row as always, even Emiliano is sitting on his desk looking at her.
 
When she looks to him it was like a flash, Emiliano gets up and goes
 ahead to where she is alone, and greets her friendly. 
How are you Cuca?
 
Well, I am very well.
 
Are you alone?
 
Yes, Jose Luis can´t today and I have come alone.
 
Great, it is good not to lose a single lesson.
 
Yes, I think the same.
 
They start to talk about the lessons and how the weather was, it is always easy to talk about the weather when it is a long time without
 having a conversation. Nevertheless they soon started to have their friendly talk of ever but this time more frankly.
The teacher is delayed and they take their sit one in front the other close enough to talk low, only for them, as a point they forget where they were and everything disappear round them.  For him there is only her and for the girl there is only him, so calm, so easy to talk with that she started to tell him her story. She tell Emiliano her fall on the snow, how bad it was as to break her  hip, the long time she has been without moving, and all the subjects about her life that Emiliano doesn´t know.
The air is magic for them, spring is outdoors and the time pass without being perceived by these girl and boy. Nearly an hour and half they were talking without any hurry, and the teacher doesn´t appear.  They were nearly alone as lot of other young has leaving already.  Finally another teacher appears and say to the few people who still were in the class that the professor couldn´t come so they could left and go out if they want. So Cuca and Emiliano, goes to take their things and left the class room with great pain. It has last so brief than now they are in the street again and Emiliano said good by to Cuca as they are taken different ways. 
Something has been removed inside them, in their souls, but it has been like a flash and it is finished again.
What incredible nice girl thinks Emiliano when he is going home by the underground, she is so beautiful and our conversation is quieted, soft, amusing we laugh as we know each other for a long time.  It seem we are very good friends after all and we feel very comfortable together, it seems for me she is the in the same form like me, thinks the boy but could he be sure about this?. Why is dating this incredible girl with that boy?. It has been great that he hasn´t come today, thinks  Emiliano, reviving their conversation once and again.
What is thinking Cuca when she is going home? Well, the girl thinks about the different talk she has with that boy Emiliano than with Jose Luis, her fiancé, it is different.  With the boy who has been in the class room till now she could talk about everything, even she has told him her life along the last two years and he seems really interested. Little by little the old idea she has that her situation is not good with Jose Luis take shape in her mind, she can´t talk with her boyfriend the same way she talks with Emiliano, is it natural?, no it is not a good life for future, just to be the wife of a man that she can´t talk with. 
She has not confidence to speak with him the way she has done with Emiliano and this is absolutely fundamental to Cuca.
To have confidence with your couple is essential to her, talk with him, relax on him, stand by him too, and nothing of these are happening now. Even a boy that she doesn´t know well awake inside her a nice unknown feeling of pleasure and friendship.
This is unusual she was thinking, what I know about Emiliano?. Where is he going now? May be,  is he going to see his girlfriend?, Who knows?. He is always in a hurry, as he has to go another place after here, beside it is a nice looking boy and sure he is dating already. But, what I am thinking, I don´t care about his life, what I care is that I can talk with him too much better than with Jose Luis, even I have been telling him lot of things that usually I didn´t like to say anybody, but with Emiliano it seems so easy to say him what happened to me in Navacerrada mountains, my year being at home without moving and so may things, it is absolutely surprising to me this incredible behavior with a boy so serious like Emiliano.  But he is soft for me, I think we could talk for hours without being tired of this long talk, eve he is so attentive to my story.  
Every moment I am thinking that was a mistake to say Jose Luis I was going to be his girlfriend, he is nice and a good boy, his behavior with me was really good when I need friendship but I can´t be married only because I am so grateful with him, I think it is necessary to feel he is my boy forever, the one with I like to be every moment, who listen to me the way this other boy, Emiliano, has been. 
 I think it is not Jose Luis, he is good, it is me that I am not so confident to talk with him, I really can´t it is a feeling that he doesn´t understand me at all. 
Maria Jose´s mind was full of ideas about her boyfriend, herself, their relation, and even about the boy she has been talking so well, creating round them an atmosphere so nice, pleasant, soft, so much confidence and the feeling of been understood for Emiliano was present for her, now and then, in fact always they have been talking.
 
Coming home she stopped her thoughts, but they are going to remind for long, it has been like this night being along with that boy a veil had fallen from her eyes and mind forever, and the ideas she was thinking months before now there were clearer. 

At last she said for herself, this relation has little future, it is better to cut it as soon as possible without hurting Jose Luis that has been so good friend to me.


MAY OF 1968
 
Emiliano is coming home like in a cloud, he was happy, he was thinking in Cuca all the way back, how nice girl she was, how much has she suffering with her broken hip, how good conversation they had, it is such a pity she is dating already. 
Why when he find a girl like Cuca, so unique, she is dating already?. Are he going to do anything?, well it is not my style, if she is dating it has to be because she likes Jose Luis, it can not be other reason and he, Emiliano, am not going to do anything.
She has all my respect he was thinking, there is no way to do nothing different with this girl, she is fair and good, she is not going to change one boy for other, it is clear for Emiliano, beside why do you think Emiliano, she could like you?.  
Awake boy, don´t dream any more,  Cuca is engaged already, she is not for you boy.
 
Despite this alert Emiliano was happy, he has been so delighted with her that nothing matter, he has to live the moment and don´t think in future.
 
Once he is at home, he likes to tell his sister Esther something about the girl and her story, but even he is talking with his mother about the nice girl who fall in Guadarrama mountains and has to be in bed nearly a year. 
 Yes, that girl of the bank that we listened about her accident, don´t you remember mom?, yes said his father, yes said his other sister Paquita, I remember her very well, it was commented for weeks among the friends in the Bank. 
It is funny that Emiliano´s father and his older sister Paquita are working in Banco Hispano Americano too, the same like him. 
 May be is it a family tradition to work in the same Bank?. 
Something was in the air that propitiate lot of changes, young’s at the universities were all days in strike, they were against the dictator shipment, against the lack of liberty, they all want a new society to express themselves with more freedom. 
 
Vietnam´s war was a let motive to be against all kind of weapons, all kind of wars, to against the army of all countries, against the society of that time that was so constricted to the old rules. 
 
After more than twenty years since the end of the second war the new generation want to change everything. 
 Spain was one of the countries were the protests were increasing day after day. In EE.UU., happens the same, in West Germany and all west European countries were happening the same.  The world have been at the edge of be destroyed by the missiles crisis in Cuba.  A red telephone was created between Moscow and Washington to elude another crisis like that.  Even Hollywood has made a film by Stanley Kubrick where this nuclear crisis was parodied in one of his great movies. The world has taken off its breath waiting for the bombs, but thanks God nothing happened in this called:
 The Cuban missile crisis—known as the October crisis or The Missile Scare (
SpanishCrisis de October) in Cuba and the Caribbean crisis (RussianКарибский кризисtr. Karibskiy krizis) in the former USSR—was a 13-day confrontation in October 1962 between the Soviet Union and Cuba on one side and the United States on the other side. The crisis is generally regarded as the moment in which the Cold War came closest to turning into a nuclear conflict[1] and is also the first documented instance of mutual assured destruction (MAD) being discussed as a determining factor in a major international arms agreement.   
To avoid another similar situation the two presidents, Khrushchev and Kennedy, created "the red telephone" between its nations, as I said above, doing so it seems we were more secured.Even the Kubrick´s movie was like a nuclear joke destruction of the world, but it was very realist after all.
Dr. Strangelove: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"   
An insane general triggers a path to nuclear holocaust that a war room full of politicians and generals frantically try to stop.
Writers:Stanley Kubrick (screenplay), Terry Southern (screenplay), 2 more credits »
++++  
After some years Kennedy was assassinated, and Khrushchev on October 14, 1964, the Presidium and the Central Committee each voted to accept Khrushchev's "voluntary" retirement from his offices for reasons of "advanced age and ill health." 
Even so the world is more or less the same, the Vietnam´s war follows and young people are really tired of their Governments.
On first and second of May 1968 all this anger explodes on the streets of Parish. May of 1968 has been initiated and things are going to change for long.  
Strikes, barricades, coctails Molotov, soldiers, fights, were again on Paris and millions of workers and students started to move all over France and its cities.
The strikes were incessant, all has been stopped, no body works and the French society is astonished. Rest of Europe and USA were looking these young’s and workers, this French society that was moving. 
Like on the French Revolution of July 1789 people were again on the streets, and as they can´t take off the head of the King they propitiate the fall of the President Charles de Gaulle, and everything started to change in France and the rest of the Europe and inside the mentality of the new generations.
Charles de Gaulle resigned the presidency at noon, 28 April 1969, following the rejection of his proposed reform of the Senate and local governments 
in a nationwide referendum. De Gaulle vowed that if the referendum failed, he would resign his office. Despite an eight-minute-long speech by de Gaulle, the referendum failed and he duly resigned. Two months later Georges Pompidou was elected as his successor.
 ++++ 
Changes will be seen quite soon in Spain too, and the two boys could see the changes of their life with the seventy years coming to enlighten a new decade. Their life will turn a way that they can´t imagine on May of 1968.


PARIS /MADRID MAY 1968
MAY 1968
What these young people, Cuca and Emiliano, were doing on May 1968 while Paris streets were burning? 
Nothing similar to that, Spain was out of that movements because the dictatorship was absolutely strong an police were in the Complutense University were the students were the only  democratic force at the moment.
Cuca have taken her holidays at the work and she has gone to a city in the Malaga´s coast, Torreblanca it is the name of the beach little city and Cuca is in a little hotel with her mother for the first fifteen days of May. 
She wants to relax from everything, and the best form of be relaxed it is to go to the beach.
Cuca talked with Emiliano some other days after their talk in April, and she is feeling that with this boy she is pleased, she likes to be with him and touch different subjects that with her boyfriend it is not possible.
A nice conversation is one of the things in life she likes more, and being with this boy it is easy, he is a good listener and carry the conversation the way she likes.
Cuca has been thinking a lot after the day both of them were alone in the class room. She thinks Emiliano has a girlfriend waiting for him when he is coming home just because he seems to be in a hurry when they go out from the Institute. Now the four young are not going walking to her house any more, Emiliano says till tomorrow and disappear immediately from the class room.
Now that she is going to the beach, emiliano has said to her that is not a prudent attitude to go to the beach now if she wants to pass her exam in the bank. 
But she needs the beach, so here is she with her mother going to take Sun´s baths every day close near the sea side.
While she is in Torreblanca, the world out Spain seems to burst, in France and other countries of Europe strikes and students fights were the rule day after day, France was stopped by so many strikes and the police hits thousand o people that was in the streets of Paris and other France big cities, but these news does not come where Cuca is resting. 
By the contrary Emiliano is up to all these news, working as a soldier who has to write events of this nature, he has a lot of work. News come to Spain every moment and the dictatorship was alert, Secret Service where there was the soldier Emiliano was taking  notes of everything, listening to the police radio stations (this was another work to the soldier Emiliano) and having all the police agents inside the universities of Madrid and other Spanish capitals.
In the Spanish country it seems that nothing was happening, dictatorship try to no inform about these events, and the Spanish life was going on waiting for summer, holidays, beaches, swimming pools and easy life, nevertheless the world was changing very fast outside the border of this country.
At the end the De Gaulle have to convocate elections in France that he lost, and things in France for its people start to be different.
In Spain there are persons that wants a change, but nothing happens and life seems to be the same as before May 1968.
Cuca has returned from her holidays and the exams in the Bank were ahead to be done in June.
The lessons in the Jorge Juan Institute were finishing and the girl and the boy Emiliano said each other "be lucky" I hope to see you after the exams having good news at that moment.
Emiliano is alone again, without talking with this girl he likes so much but his head is thinking in Canada, where soon he thinks could be working after less than two years. His future life was ahead in this cold country where he wants to go, out his country, out from the dictatorship he dislike so much, out some other rules in the Spanish society of that time he also dislike.
Cuca is with Jose Luis, not very sure about her future and what is she going to do with the problem she had. She didn´t love this boy but it is difficult to say him go, I don´t like you any more, what to do?. Just wait some time to no hurt him?. In fact she doesn´t think in Emiliano as for her this boy has to be dating another girl as he never has told her loving words or he hadn´t do nothing in the way of dating her. For her Emiliano is a very nice young boy, serious and very good talking and listener, she felt at his side incredible good but what can she do about the subject?, nothing. 
She is a serious girl that have already a boyfriend and being dating with him it is in imaginable to date another boy, Emiliano or whichever one who wanted to date her, that´s certain in her mid while she is with Jose Luis.  She has felt herself very comfortable talking with the boy, Emiliano, that she is not going to see more as they never has done anything inappropriate. Good for him and for her, their friendship has been clear and absolutely fair, that´s good and gives her a nice feeling to think about it.


IT WAS THE YEAR 1968 ON THE WORLD(first. ...)
  • On October 2, 1968, in Tlatelolco Plaza of the Three Cultures or are nearly 50,000 students gathered . But they did but they ambushed because of all the converging streets, army forces appeared, surrounding the square. A flare is fired ... and the killing began.
  • In that now occupies our attention, 1968, was celebrated the 1968 Mexico Olympics , but was growing international concern: is living the worst days of the Vietnam War , just months before the tragic Prague Spring had happened.
  • When Soviet tanks rolled into the Czech capital , in Paris, students had risen (the well-known French May 68), racism in South Africa reached its peak, and Mexico was a strong internal instability result of poor economic conditions spanning .
  • On August 27 of that year, more than 200,000 students marched through downtown Mexico City , and settled in the Zocalo, the central square of Mexico City. The next day, the police suppressed the revolt.
  • Mexico was the ideal city for its next staging of the Olympic Games and become a good advertising focus to show the disagreement not only with the internal policy of the federal government, but with the global instability. But Mexico and its government was not willing to become a focus of revolts precisely some special days.
  • The riots followed, and in September the government sent the army to occupy the Campus producing dozens of injuries among students. Now, in this repression, there was talk that there had been dozens of deaths, and that police had burned to hide the evidence to the world. Still, the protests continued at an increasing rate, while participants from all over the world were coming to the capital.
     
     
     + + + + + +

1968  PRAGUE  
 

Prague Spring
 
in 1968 he was elected president of the Czechoslovak Communist Party Alexander Dubcek. This president took action as the proclamation of the freedom of the press and release of non-communist political organizations, revealing their intentions to democratize the regime. The new government line was enthusiastically welcomed by the Czech population. The winds of freedom favored criticism of Soviet control over the country, against the bureaucratic dictatorship and against Soviet intervention in Eastern Europe. What Dubcek was intended to give a new orientation communism, avoiding his radical and dictatorial ends?  
 
It remains something of that year in which social and student movements seemed going to change the world?
Ideals were close to the surface, the movements pacifists were multitudinous, humanity looked like was going to change forever.
And then, what happened?
Pacifists, idealists, to intone where they hid, that positions occupied? Secretaries of state? Secretaries of NATO? Soldiers who mobilized other soldiers?
Did the Vietnam War was the last?
After forty-six years of those years 1968/1969 everything looks the same or worse.  The path is bleak, new wars ravaged Europe and the rest of the world.

+ + + + + + 
Now and forever
Thousands of people were mobilized under the slogan "We're going to find"; attentive to "actual" violations of human rights organizations.
When he was called concentration Rivera and Jackson, the rain stopped falling on Montevideo. Minutes after, and seventeenth time, thousands of people marched silently through July 18th Avenue to Plaza Libertad, on the date that the killings in Buenos Aires Zelmar Michelini, Héctor Gutiérrez Ruiz, Rosario Barredo and William remembered Whitelaw. 
SUMMER 1968 IN MADRID
It is summer of 1968, Cuca has taken her holidays already, made her exam at the Bank and now she wants to study the second test to get the goal of being official at the Banco Hispano Americano.
She has approved the first test that seems the most difficult and now she needs to memorize a lot of themes relative to the Bank´s commercial administration,
It will be necessary for her to study two or three hours by day all the commercial subjects necessary to be in one of the Bank different sites, like cash, foreign exchange, commercial credits of import and export, commerce, and so forth till October, that will be the second test.
Jose Luis her boyfriend has failed his exam and for him is very frustrating to see his girlfriend studying so many hours, he wants to go out and day after day is telling Cuca he wants to walk, to go to the theatre, to the swimming pool or to the park. It is so boring for him to be indoors looking at her studying. Cuca is thinking that this boy doesn´t understand she has to study, to study very hard as she wants to pass her exam.  
It is tiresome for her to be fighting with a frustrated boy that have not past his exam and finally she decided to be in doors that summer studying hard every day.
Emiliano is doing the same, every evening of this summer he is studying the same exam than her, even he is thinking about Cuca, has her past  the exam or not?. He knows nothing about the girl as he is still not working in the Bank and he doesn´t know anybody who could tell him about the girl. 
At the morning Emiliano goes to the office where he is doing his service in the army looking to the end of his time in the Spanish Army Forces that will be next December if all goes the right way to him.
Summer in Madrid use to be very hot, nobody goes to the streets if it is not necessary till seven  p.m., or even later, as the sun burns. It is better to have a nap indoors after lunch and await till late to go for a walk.
Soon will be July, the hottest month, it take a big effort to study so many items that soon, once next exam in October will be over, shall be forgotten by the majority of these candidates.
Some of the army officials that are working in the S.S. are taken their holidays, so Emiliano has in mind to ask for fifteen days of liberty to be with his sister in the mountains near Madrid. He has the idea that the colonel could give him these days if there is a good reason for that. To look after his sister in her holidays could be a good reason for this official and surprised it happens and he has fifteen days of holidays to rest in the mountains close to Madrid but also to study full day the Bank´s themes.
Nice holidays indeed, he has lot of ideas inside his mind without being aware that none of them will be accomplish in future.
Softly the summer is going on and October will be soon ahead announcing some changes in the life of Cuca and Emiliano. 
Autumn is the best season in Madrid, hot is finished and people likes to walk through Retiro´s Park where there is a symphony of colors everywhere. It is a nice place to take a seat in the middle of the park and start to read one again the themes it is necessary to remember for at least another week, just enough to take the exam and be free to forget which ever subject you don´t need to remember.
It is not going to happens that Cuca and Emiliano meet each other in the exam, too many candidates have passed first exam and it will be a good chance for them to meet each other doing their exams.
The results will be in November and finishing the proof Cuca and Emiliano were happy of doing a good test.

IT HAS BEEN THE YEAR 1968, AND WHAT FOLLOWED? TO THAT IN THE WORLD? (Second)
  
It seemed that the Western world was changing for the better this year, 1968, nothing was further from reality. The seventies were responsible with their terrifying facts back to the repressor actually less than ten years was a dream of freedom. 
 
 ( General Videla acclaimed B.Aires) ......? 
military dictatorship in Argentina. From 1976 to 1983 Argentina seizes power in one Coup military junta which suppresses almost human rights consistently proceeding to physical elimination of all class opposition or criticism to their heinous acts. It is considered one of the bloodiest dictatorships in history 
Argentina. 
military dictatorship in Chile. Between 1973 and 1981 in Chile took power General Augusto Pinochet, establishing a similar process would be established in Argentina.  disappear human rights, freedom of association, any opposition is removed and the begin years of so-called "disappeared" suspected opponents mercilessly out of a company governed and oppressed with the support and consent of other empires that consider themselves democratic.
And in Latin America military dictatorships arise as all the bad condition of :
Bolivia - Hugo Banzer 1971-1978
Uruguay - 1973/1984
Paraguay - Alfredo Stroessner 1954/1989
Peru - Juan Velasco Alvarado 1968/1975
addition to Panama, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Cuba and some Nations who joined more repression and annihilation of opponent.
Dictatorships in Africa continued as if nothing had happened, and the worst was that the former colonies run by European countries became dictatorships occidentals orchestrated by the same countries with economic and military interests in the region.
Asia was death camp systematic whole civilian populations swelled annals of genocide. 
Nations in Cambodia and other Southeast Asian left by the death throes of the Vietnam War led to the establishment of dictatorships annihilating its population in nearly ten countries these latitudes.  Cambodia's Khmer Rouge dictator Pol Pot and massacred half million countrymen. Suma y sigue, Laos, Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia ... and stop counting and then the list is endless.  

A libertarian movement Europe and America led to suffering and destruction to millions of human beings in later years. 
The generation that lived through those years, among whom I count myself, was quite disappointed with any similar movement of a kind or another whether he was not accompanied by a economic stability that guarantees work, health and freedom. 

crisis that began in 1973, called 1973 oil began in August of that year and affected countries of Western Europe and the United States who were punished by OPEC for their support to Israel in their war of Yom Kippur, then extending to virtually the entire planet.  

Rising prices coupled with the heavy dependence had the industrialized world oil caused a strong inflationary effect and a reduction in economic activity globally? 
Liberation movements of the late sixties frustrated aspirations to one crisis to the seventies, and repression worldwide was the point and followed daily. freedom and economic crisis are not usually accompanied, see the present time, so there would to wait until the late eighties when other levels of political and economic expediency in different stratum of power, the Berlin Wall was torn down, but these events were another History.
DECEMBER IS COMING    
November is going on in the city and news are so good for the girl, she has approved, that now Cuca is happy thinking in her next future. A future being alone, as she is breaking inside her mind with her boyfriend and she wants to make it soon and without hurt for him or for her.
Reality has been over there and Cuca knows already that this boy is not for her, she likes to have a good friend at her side, a friend to talk, a friend to love, a friend to live together for long and this boy is not appropriate for her feelings. There is not any confidence or solidarity inside him with the fact she needs time to study and can´t go outside as he lately has requested her. No, Jose Luis is not her boy or her love any more, so the best is to cut soon, in fact she is doing that little by little without hurting his feelings. 
Being approved her exams means more money, also more consideration at work office among her partners and this is even more important for her. She likes her work at the Bank and she wants to give the best of her doing her task at the office.
Good for the boy too, he has approved and Emiliano was happy. It means just what he wanted, more money to save for his final trip to get his site in the world, working in Canada?, it is possible, but he doesn´t care where if he goes out this vulgar world he lives in.
What it would happened with the girl?, he was thinking, and the image of her was inside his mind frequently. Is it was in July the last chance he has to see her?, yes, it was, he was going to the Bank to get his month´s salary and Cuca was in Sol Square with that boy of hers, they were chatting each other ten meters from Emiliano that cross Alcala street fast,  going short of time and seeing that the girl was with her boy friend he preferred not to go and meet them as by chance. 
It was not easy to him just to see Cuca that way with her boy close to her and never Emiliano has talked with that boy Jose Luis, it was not his type to talk with, less to be friendly. There was something he dislike about him, but of course this was natural knowing what his feelings to the girl were.
So, that´s the last time Emiliano saw Maria Jose and was not possible to him just to know if she has passed the first exam and if so, what have happened with the second?, not any news about that. 
Being already in the first days of December winter was ahead, soon Christmas will be in the air and everything will be going to change about the lights, the shops, and of course the feelings of people who lives in this big city of Madrid.
For Emiliano it was the time to get his freedom of the military army service that was so troublesome for him. At that moments the boy is going to an English Academy where he attends two hours by day of conversation and English grammar. His intention of going to the British Columbia in Canada remains inoculated in his mind and it seems nothing will be enough to change his will. That´s what he is thinking now when he is going to learn more English and have to pay a lot of money for the two hours of class.
They are good classes with very few people inside them, so the boy could talk a lot and even sometimes he is alone with the teacher, and Australian girl with a very good English accent. 
Curious, he thinks, my first will was going to Australia so in accordance with these thought he have lots of question to the girl and their conversation is always vividly and nice. His improvement is going fast with so many chats. English grammar class is good enough to prepare the Lower Certificate of English a subject that is also in Emiliano´s mind.
Emiliano is not aware that relationship between Cuca and her boyfriend is going to its end. The girl has realized that there is not any future for her with this boy, she can´t married him only by gratitude that will be sure as hell for him and for her. 
Having that in mind for a long time, may be Emiliano has something to do about her feelings, she has talked with Jose Luis asking him for a period to think, she needs to think if their relation is good and she needs time, the same as him, she told. Just we need to take some time to think about our future, if it is a good idea to continue or it is better to cut our relationship amicably before it advance more. 
So now Cuca has done her first step to finish her relationship with her boyfriend, that is her idea absolutely but she prefer to cut with him in the right way, not hurting his feelings after all.
She has passed the Bank´s exams and now she is aware that is going to be a meeting in the Jorge Juan academy, among the guys that have succeeded in their exams. It will be on 20th of December and it will be a good occasion to see which one has approved after all. May be that boy Emiliano has approved? It is sure she said for her, he seem smart to pass, sure he did a good exam.
Will be he in the meeting? She asked herself, may be and we´ll have a good talk together if ihere is time enough she is thinking.

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN MADRID  

It is December already, a nice month to Emiliano as he is going to be free from his army service and soon will be doing his life not being a soldier any more.
Nice perspective for this month he is thinking; "just I have to return the uniform, the boots, everything I have from the army and I will be a person not a soldier who has to obey the orders of the first official I could see". 
Good he said, I will be a person again and soon will get my passport and could go which ever country I like to.
His studies of English continue every day and he is thinking that knowing English will be the real subject to have in mind now, it will very good for him in future if he wants to get a good job. 
Not going to work, not going to the academy, not being in touch with any of his partners at the Bank, Emiliano knows nothing about who has passed the exams, nothing about Cuca, and nothing about the meeting it was going to be celebrated in the academy. 
He goes to the military office in the mornings, at the English academy in the evenings and that is all along the first days of December. 
On the fifteen of this month he goes to Alcalá de Henares to return his uniform in the CIR, the camp where he was first designated, he says good bye to their guys in the secret service office, good people after all, despite he doesn´t like army, soldiers, or police inspector. The concept is different, he could not like policemen or inspectors in general, or the officials of the army because they are soldiers who are armed forces with weapons in their hands, but when you are working with them and have good experiences with these persons, you start to see the people, the persons, and how are they with you, if they are good or bad people, and not what they could represent. 
The experience has been good and he will have good memories of this year he was in the military secret service office, treating with secret police, officials, and so forth. One of the guys who is inspector already, despite he is very young, has been like a friend to Emiliano and he feel sorry to say him good bye.
Today it is the twentieth of December and Emiliano is leaving his class in the English academy, he is stepping down the stairs of the subway, before entering in the station and buying the ticket he thinks in going to the Hispano branch which it is close to the metro entrance. He knows that Jesus, the boy who was going with him to the academy probably is working inside the office, moon-lighting work in fact, and he wants to know who passed the exams and even if Jesus passed it. 
Thinking on that subjects he returns his way back, goes up the stairs and at the Bank´s door ring for a while. A person comes and Emiliano asked if Jesus is in the Office.
No, he is not now, he has leaved five minutes ago because he wants to go the Jorge Juan Institute.
Thank you, but do you know why is going Jesus to the Institute?
Yes, I can tell you, the people that have passed their exams are going to celebrate a little feast in the academy, they want to see each other and see what of them have approved the exams and have a drink to celebrate their exit.
So, is there a feast in the academy? Thanks I know nothing about that, thanks a lot.
Yes, today, sure they are going to have a good time together.
Thank you very much, again, bye.
So, there is a meeting in the academy thinks Emiliano, it would be a good idea to go and see which one have passed the exams. "Why don´t you go Emiliano", he thinks for himself, "just a while would be enough and you have time enough to go there before going home". 
Thinking that he turn up when he is going down to the subway and goes up the stairs again to the street.
So once again he is in Goya´s street searching his way to the Jorge Juan institute. "That will be nice" he thinks crossing the street and stepping down fast.
It was a short walk for him and he moves faster every moment as being anxious to be again in the place he felt something new some months before. In fact he was not thinking on anything now, he has made up his mind to be an hour or more with the approved guys and there is all for the evening, nothing more is ahead his life in that moment.
There it is, Jorge Juan Institute, a long time without being here he is thinking, and suddenly a clear lovely voice reach him, he Emiliano, and again even louder,  ¡¡¡¡¡Emiliano ¡¡¡¡¡, he turn his head to the left and yes, there is her, Cuca calling for him three meters behind. He, Emiliano, are you, after all you approved, doesn´t you?.
Oh, my Good, good, very good indeed, the boy is thinking at the same time he is greeting the girl eagerly, how are you, Maria Jose?, it is such a pleasure to see you here, that means you passed the exam too, like me, do you?.
Yes, I do, It has been a summer studying but here we are to celebrate we are free of having to study it again, aren´t we?
Of course, it is very nice that you passed it, I am very happy for you. What about Jose Luis, where is he? Have you come alone?
Yes, I am alone now, it was a matter of time that my relation with Jose Luis has to be over, he is a good boy but not for me. In fact we have breaking already, and it will be certain in a short time, we have given us a while to think, but it is so clear to me that I don´t need any time, it is just courtesy to let him change his mind forever. So, now I am relaxed about a complicate subject that take me worried for some time.
These words sounds like heaven music for Emiliano, the girl is free, absolutely free and she is here alone, it is his chance and he is not going to lost it. No, that´s for sure, he is not going to spoil the opportunity fate has given both of them this evening. 
I have to be very careful with this nice girl I like so much and just touch her feelings about me very slowly. May be she doesn´t want anything about love affairs so soon? So be careful Emiliano, don´t afraid her with you propositions, he said to his mind.
They go up the stair of the academy and ring twice, nobody comes to open the door and for a moment they were in silence. Another ring, but nothing happens.
What do you think? Says Cuca, we could come again later if you agree and you are not in a hurry. Yes, of course Cuca, just a walk to make time? Nice, in ten minutes we could come again.  That´s right for me, says Emiliano.
The two goes for a short walk and talk about their exams and some other things making time to return. After a time again in front the door, ringing and nobody comes, it is so odd, says Cuca.
Well, that´s could be good says Emiliano, what about going for a walk Cuca?, o.k., that´s good, I like to talk with you, do you want to see the Christmas lights in Castellana street, Emiliano?. Right, sure it would be nice to see them, it is a lovely weather outside despite we are close near Christmas, don´t you think so?
Yes, it is, so let´s go to see the lights, sure you´ll like them. Be sure about that, Cuca, I will like them very much walking with you at my side and having that so nice talks we had before.

TOGETHER? IS IT POSSIBLE?

Well, that´s could be good says Emiliano, what about going for a walk Cuca?, o.k., that´s good, I like to talk with you, do you want to see the Christmas lights in Castellana street, Emiliano?. Right, sure it would be nice to see them, it is a lovely weather outside despite we are close near Christmas, don´t you think so?.
"Yes, it is, so let´s go to see the lights, sure you´ll like them. Be sure about that, Cuca, I will like them very much walking with you at my side and having that so nice talks we had before".
+++++++++++++
That´s what Emiliano is thinking, but say nothing to her as it is necessary to go slowly with the girl. He says, yes, it would be so nice to go for a walk and have a chat together like other we had before. 

Saying that they are stepping down the street and going to Castellana promenade, where the lights have been displayed for Christmas. It is a beautiful nice show and Cuca likes it very much.
Christmas it is not a cheerful time for Emiliano and he is telling the girl accordingly with his feelings. 
Watching the Promenade they go up the street and reach Cibeles Circus that was the top of the lights exhibition in the city. Left up it is Alcala street till Sol Square, and right up it is Gran Via street till España Square. By the right follows Castellana Promenade till Atocha Square, and behind there is Alcala Street till the Alcala Door Square where the lights were splendors. It was really a wonderful sight by all means, the air was full of Christmas songs and just the moment seems magic for the couple. 
After a while walking Emiliano is telling her if she likes to have something like a coffee or a cup of tea in a nice tea shop close near them. Cuca agrees and they go into the nice tea/coffee shop ant take a seat beside a little table, they ask for a cup of tea and continue talking eagerly giving information about their life in the last months.
Cuca told her problems and feelings about breaking his relationship with Jose Luis while Emiliano is listening to her without losing a word from her lips. He says nothing that could disturb the girl but inside him happiness it is his inner feelings. "This relation is over, he thinks, good, very good indeed, I am going to care her as she can´t imagine". He says to her that soon he is returning to the Bank as his army service it is over too and he is happy now looking at future with hopes. 
They talk also about the exams and the people who have passed them, also the number they have gotten in the list it is important because it means how the exams were made and the money they could get by occupying the site for long or short time, just since the time this site has being free without being occupied once again for a new official. To be clear, all the time the site has to be occupied without being so it will be the difference of month’s salary between auxiliary and official multiplied by the months since that date of the lack sit till the date they are going to work like officials instead auxiliary.
It could be a lot of money, but it depends of the list´s number. There are 150 sites to be occupied by the candidates and both of them, Cuca and Emiliano, have got a good approved number at the list. 
She has been among the first ten, either Emiliano has been among the first twenty by his exams, but for him it has been a not good report from his boss or even the fact of being out from the Bank now, doing his army service, has been something wrong to get a nice good report. That inform has motivated he has been situated far from the first hundreds of the definitive list of approved people. He is disappointed but nothing about the subject it could be done. 
Cuca by the contrary has received a very good report from her boss and she has been situated even in a better number of the list that the one she got by her exams. 
Sitting in the tea-shop the two youngs were happy, talking about their life, their late months, the time goes up and soon they have to leave going up to Cuca´s house. It was Emiliano´s chance to date her again and he is asking her if the could see each other another time. 
She thinks and says, yes, our talk is really nice and I enjoy walking with you Emiliano. What do you think of seeing us again next Saturday, Cuca?. But next Saturday is tomorrow, says Cuca. 
Yes, it is tomorrow, so do you like to see me tomorrow about seven p.m., close to you street, Cuca? it suit you well dear?, Yes, it would be nice, just in the corner of the Hermosilla street with Alcala, do you know where?, emiliano?. Yes, I think I know the site, it is less of five minutes from your house, Cuca? Yes, it is over there, then till seven p.m., tomorrow.
Of course, I will see you tomorrow at seven p.m. o’clock Cuca, but now we are going to your house and if you don´t mind we can go together, right?
Yes, that is right, so let´s go because it is late, I have to be at home before ten p.m.
The couple leaf the tea shop and go up Goya street till they reach a site close to the girl house.
See you then Emiliano.
See you Cuca, tomorrow just here, right.
++++++++
Dreaming awake
Emiliano is dreaming when he is going home, what has happened this afternoon, he ask himself, is it real, sure? I am not dreaming? I am going to see her tomorrow? How? Nobody was in the academy? Why? Dozens of questions were in his mind till the moment he is at home and talk with his mother and sisters.
Nothing has any importance now, only the fact he is going to see this nice girl Maria José that seems pleases with the thought they are going to see each other.
Nerves, Emiliano is nerves thinking what to do, were to go with Cuca, and what is going to happens tomorrow.
Otherwise he is happy, it is so incredible to meet her that way, suddenly, without advise, and what is even the best “she is free of that inappropriate boy” that was with her. This is the incredible dream of today, free land to be together, to walk, to talk, to go which ever place they like, and to let his feelings free to see and love her every moment. Now it is clear to Emiliano he loves Cuca just from the first moment he saw her in the class room and she said to him, “he, are you new, aren´t you?” and he said, “yes it is my second day here”.
Love at first sight that is what happened to me, is thinking Emiliano as he is going home. Afterward, alone in his bed he follows thinking in the girl and all the circumstances of today, finding her alone, in the academy. What has happened with the feast, where were the other people?, she and me alone in the building and not anybody inside it?, it was a mistake of Cuca and me to be there thinking there was a feast?, it is sure that feast will be another day, but I don´t care anymore, I have find what I was looking for, just her.
It is nearly a year since the first time he has seen her and Maria Jose has been always in his heart and mind without allowing that his feelings to her were out, clear, understandable for him. Now everything is different, the miracle has been done and the treasure it is at his hand, waiting for him, so his feelings are outside at last and it is like a dream for this boy.
That incredible nice beautiful girl has been talking with him all the evening, sitting close to him like old friends that have a long time they have not seen each other. Air was magic in the atmosphere that surrounds them inside this little house tee when they were for nearly two hours talking. How incredible nice she is, how relaxed he feels beside Maria Jose, how marvelous looks the world when they are together, it is clear that loves make miracles and this sceptic boy is funny, amusing, cheerful when he is with the girl he likes so much. He doesn´t think on anything, just let the time goes on enjoying the moment, every second, looking her face and listening to every word the girl says. Is it love? Yes, it must be as any other idea it is incompressible for him. He has fallen in love since a long time but now it is even more without any kind of subjection to his feelings.
Life seems so beautiful to this boy now that the idea of returning back to the bank the second day of next January it is far away from his thoughts. Today is twenty of December, so there is some days to be with Maria Jose before he is again at work free from the army service for ever. It is over, he could do which ever thing they like with his life, and now what he wants is being with Maria Jose and don´t spoil anything with her, she needs to feel herself free and relaxed after her breaking with that boy, don´t press her Emiliano, just give Cuca time enough to change her mind to your favor. Let her to love you little by little and don´t go too fast with this sensible girl.
Thinking about the changes of his life Emiliano fall asleep with nice marvelous hopes to the following days of Christmas.
WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL?
Maria José doesn´t think the same as the boy, she was just living the moment, without expecting anything about future or considering nothing about the new chance. No, her mind is far away all this subjects.
After breaking with Jose Luis, a relation that has been prolonging for more than a year, she doesn´t like to think about a new love affair. No, this is not her way now. She feels herself free to be inside a new compromise.
This boy Emiliano is really nice, she likes him but she knows nothing about the boy. He has appeared so unexpected in the empty site that she has not time to think what has happened or just consider anything more.
She likes the talk, she feels wellbeing at his side, he is calm, reflexive, and serious, and he has a good culture conversation about different subjects.
Time pass without sense at his side, so why not going with him tomorrow. Sure it will be a nice evening going for a walk under the Christmas lights.
In fact has this boy Emiliano something to do with her decision of breaking with Jose Luis? Somehow was Emiliano responsible, when they were talking so peacefully, of her thoughts or her real feelings about her boyfriend? Well, who knows? May be so, she thinks that she was really good at Emiliano´s side, walking the two by the street or even the last day they were talking alone in the class room and she, so shy, told him everything about her pass life, her accident, her pain being at home nearly a year and so forth.
Yes, she could remember now that her feelings were to remain more time talking with him and even she felt pain, or disappointed when just their talk was finished and he had to go home. Even more, she thought he was dating a girl because went out so fast  from the class room with a bye, see you tomorrow and he did not accompanied her to the subway to continue their conversation.
Well that wasn´t her way of acting at the moment at it seems it wasn´t the way of Emiliano.
But now, what happens with this boy, is he dating a girl or not? It seems that not, but is he interested in me? Or he wants to be kind with a girl he has talked before when he has known the break with her boyfriend.
I don´t care, says Maria Jose to her, I don’t care, I hope nothing, only to have a nice talk, a nice time being together free at last without any remorse as everything about my previous relations is over.
She is not going to expect nothing and she is not going to say anything to anybody, in her family or at work, her walks or talks with Emiliano would be for her own only, that´s clear to Maria Jose when she goes to the bed.

A DAY LIKE ANOTHER DAY

Twenty first of December 1968 could be a day like another day for millions but it is not so for Cuca and Emiliano, because this singular day it is going to be the first of new relationship that is going to long for decades.
It is supposed that in the morning Cuca is doing her work as she done it usually. She works in the head office of Banco Hispano Americano of Madrid. The Bank has many different offices inside the head office building but Cuca works in “Informs”, an office where commercial customer´s informs are made to be references of the companies or people who ask for credits, money, avails, and all kind of commercial subjects to the Bank.
For years she has been working in this little site of the head office situated in Plaza de Canalejas, 1 of Madrid. She works from nine a.m. till five p.m. except in summer than her work´s hour will be since nine a.m. till three p.m., but in December she has to work till five in the evening.
Emiliano is free of going to the secret service office as his army service is over. He has some days of holidays waiting for the second of January of the next year that he has to return to the same Bank than Cuca but also the same site of Plaza de Canalejas , 1 of Madrid.
Being a large building with thousands of employers it would be nearly impossible to meet each other inside it. Now things are going to be different as in future they will meet near de Head Bank´s door to say “good morning” one to the other.
This will be in a month, not now that they have not enough confidence and Emiliano is not working yet.
At the evening the two young persons are going to meet close near to Maria Jose house. It is seven p.m. and Emiliano is awaiting for the girl in the corner of Alcala street with Hermosilla street, he look once again his watch because he is waiting since ten minutes before the hour of their meeting. Should be she late? Thinks the boy watching again his watch. No, she is not late, five minutes after seven she appears at the middle of the street coming out from her house. Emiliano could see her and his heart is beating inside his chest. How nice gracile figure she has, the boy thinks, but being slender with a long hair that falls over her back her beauty face with clear eyes it is what Emiliano loves to see now. Her face and her lovely smile takes the will of this young man for ever and ever.  He doesn´t know anything about what is happening in future but this girl, her smile, her clear eyes, and her soul, it is going to held him here in Madrid for the rest of his life.
He, Cuca, how are you?
Very well, Emiliano, thank you
Did you find the corner soon, Emiliano?
Have you wait for me very long?
No, don´t mind, it is a nice place to wait for you and I have been here only for ten minutes as I was before the hour. It has been easy to find the place following your instructions of the shop that is just in the corner. Niza, you said me, a shop of dresses for babies, it is nice to look through the glass of shop the little children´s dresses and the baby’s things to play and eat, it is a very nice sight.
So, now Cuca, where do you like to go?
If you don´t mind Emiliano, I would like to go to the mail office as I want to send some Christmas Cards, do you?
Very good Cuca, let us go then to the mail first as we have all the evening for us.
A SPECIAL PLACE THAT DOESN´T EXIST ANY MORE
What a nice evening has been the last for Emiliano, even for Cuca has been good, and accordingly to their real feelings they have dated again for the next day that is Sunday, today, and all day Emiliano is thinking where to go with the girl. He wants to please her and is thinking what to do or where to go with Maria José.
What could be the best site to talk, thinks Emiliano this Sunday morning, we are in winter, it is cold, it is raining, so it must be a site indoors, near Maria Jose´s house, as far as a short walk, so look for a place or ask you sister that knows a lot about nice sites in Madrid.
At last a place is in his mind, the California 47 Cafeteria that is situated in Goya Street, it is at ten minutes from Cuca´s house and sure it could be a nice beautiful place to talk.
At seven o´clock Emiliano is waiting for Cuca at Niza´s corner like he was yesterday. Soon Cuca is out from her house and steps up Hermosilla Street where Emiliano is watching her as she comes to where he is.
Nice beautiful smart girl he thinks, how much I like her face and her cheerful smile.
Once again they are talking like old friends, easy, cheerfully, and with empathy between them. Empathy is the rule all the time Maria Jose and Emiliano are together talking, something special are between them as if there is a kind of mental connection that makes everything so easy all the time that Cuca and Emiliano are close near one from the other.
It is like a world exclusively for them, nothing more counts when they are together, things, noises, people disappear and for Emiliano only Maria Jose exists, just the same as for the girl that feels Emiliano is close to her feelings. It is so easy to talk with this boy, thinks Cuca, what a big difference between him and the other boy I was months before.
Easily talking they are going down Goya Street till the California 47 cafeteria. Previously Emiliano has said Cuca if she likes to go in this nice place and she said, yes, that could be very nice for them.
Sitting one in front the other with a little table between the two young are talking about their own life. Emiliano is so absorbed with Cuca´s talk than suddenly he has hit the glass with his drink and then gin tonic is on his trousers and on the floor, so clumsy he said, sorry dear I was out of reality listening to you. Immediately a nice girl carry another drink and dry the trousers of the boy with some napkin papers.
After a while they are laughing remembering the incident and the wet trousers of Emiliano. It is cold he said, very cold indeed, he laughs as touching his upper leg.
The two hours they were talking is one of the best time they could remember always.
Their second date, so incredible nice and with a special air round them, has been perfect and the two future lovers go up Goya Street absolutely happy. Once they are again in Niza coners close to Maria Jose house they agree to see each other the following days. Emiliano asks the girl if she likes to go to see a movie that is now in Madrid, a famous story about a Russian Pope, and Cuca says yes, I would like to see it as I have read the book already, it is a novel of Morris West and I like the book very much.
Very well Cuca, I will get the tickets to go on Christmas, just the 25th at seven o´clock, so we need to date sooner.
O.K., Emiliano, nice, see you then on 25th to go to the theatre, that is right? Yes of course, I will phone you once I have get the tickets, o.k.?  Good, very good says the girl, I will be looking forward Christmas, sure the movie has to be beautiful and we can enjoy it.
I´ll be pleased seeing you Cuca, it is always a great pleasure to me having the opportunity of being together seeing a movie or going for a walk, see you soon dear.
FUTURE
Incredible, how two persons that know nothing about each other could be so pleased being together, walking, talking or going to a cafeteria. It doesn´t matter what they do or where they go, it is only the fact of being close, one from the other, just looking at the eyes, smiling, listening the voice of that person, it is enough to be happy. Just this is what feels Emiliano being at side of Maria Jose, but now same feeling is going through the soul of the girl. Who is this boy to give me so peaceful feelings, why I am so sure being at his side, he has something that soft my soul and I can open my heart to him, telling lot of things I don´t tell anybody before. He seems to understand which ever subject I could tell him, that is new for me, I am so pleased with him that it is better to enjoy his presence day after day without thinking anything about future. This are the thoughts of Maria Jose once she is at home and goes to her bed that night of 23rd of December. The evening at the California 47 has been perfect to her, nothing to be with the feelings she felt before with Jose Luis, this is different, and now she is in peace with herself. Nothing to think about future, only live the moment is her purpose and be relaxed about this new situation with Emiliano.
Next day I am going to see him will be Christmas, it is funny that after a year of talking so short with him now we have full afternoon to be close one from the other, talking and watching a nice film. He hasn´t take my hand yet, he is so serious and kind that is a pleasure to be at his side, I feel myself sure being close to Emiliano, why? I don´t know but it the reality of my feelings, I think this boy it is just different of the boys I have met before.
Emiliano doesn´t think, he only feels, he feels what happiness is, he doesn´t feel alone now. At last he has found a girl that please him all the ways, the one that he feels could be for him absolutely, the one to respect, to love, to be his/her friend for long, it is so clear that this boy doesn´t need to think about it. His feelings are up his skin as soon as he is beside Cuca, even if he could imagine her so close as to touch her face, her lips, her eyes, her nice little ears, her small hands. Everything about Maria Jose likes to this boy, not now it has been always so but he has not allowed himself to dream with her. Now he is dreaming awake the full day.
The Shoes of the Fisherman
Once again Emiliano is going to meet Maria Jose by the subway, it takes forty minutes to go from his house till his girl house. But who care, he not of course, time goes fast being in the high spirit form he is now. He has taken the tickets yesterday morning after an hour in the row as this movie is the one now in Madrid´s theaters. Everybody wants to see “The Shoes of the Fisherman” with Anthony Quinn in the body of the Pope Kiril who is going to make an important role in the “Cold War” that in those times the world is suffering.
All is fiction by it is taken from the reality fights of The URSS and The EE.UU., this cold war could finally conduct to a nuclear war and The Pope Kiril has to go to Russia to talk with the Russian President Kamenev searching for an agreement.
Cuca is telling Emiliano the plot while they are walking to the subway station of Goya, after a while inside the train the get off in Bilbao Station. Close to this subway station there is the Paz Cinema where the film is exhibited. It is a long film, near to 170 minutes, so it is necessary to be early at the entrance.
Maria Jose is absolute interested in the movie, it is a spectacular film where you may see The Vatican city, the incredible Basilica of St. Peters, the Pope rooms, and all the cardinals with their purple garments.
She is enjoying the film, even more than Emiliano that is watching her by the corner of his eye sighs. She is at his right and the boy could see his face so gorgeous and quiet. She is really nice thinks Emiliano looking at her and he is conscious of her ears adorned with two earrings hanging two or three centimeter.
The earrings are beautiful and fix with splendor Cuca face, so without thinking they are in the Cinema he says Maria Jose that she looks beauty with that earrings so brilliant and nice hanging from her ears.
That is all but enough to the girl to realize that she likes to emiliano, now is clear for her only with this phrase of him she knows that Emiliano is not only a friend, he wants to be something more for her.
Well she is pleased with the idea, so he has been so silence all this time when in fact he looks me with loving eyes, that´s very good indeed, this boy is like a box of secrets to me, he is not boring, what could be inside his soul so serious, quiet, calm and attend with me. Yes, nice, he is really nice with me and to me, I am looking him with good eyes from this moment.
After that day everything between Maria Jose and Emiliano starts to change. There is another feeling coming beside friendship little by little love is opening his way inside their minds a hearts. In less than two months they are really in love one with the other, being also like the best friends to talk with every day, at mornings and at evenings.
Let stop the story in this Christmas day of 1968 as events since now between Maria Jose and Emiliano nill be going very fast.

WINTER IN MADRID

It is the second of January, Emiliano comes back to his work in the Bank. Now he is first official and get more money in his salary.
The first and second part of his plans are going on, he has done the army service, he can get his passport, he is getting more money and can save to make true his dreams of going out from the country and establish himself in Canada. In a year and a half he will be five years in the Bank and should be possible for him to ask for his cessation for three years on the job.
Everything seems to go on, accordingly with his previous ideas, but now a person is in his life that was not previously considered in all his thoughts of going out far away from Madrid.
Of course, it is very soon to have any idea about what is going to happen but there is a real new subject in his life that before was not. What is this new subject? Love, and love changes everything in the life of people. Love is the force that moves situations or ideas of humans, the force that changes the mind of people.
Now having Cuca in his life everything could be possible and she could be his let motive to stay, to go, to work and to live.
In few weeks Cuca and Emiliano are dating every day, there is not any evening that they don´t see each other. Since the last days of January the two lovers are seen each other also in the morning. Ten minutes before the hour of being inside the office they date under the watch of a building in Alcala Street. They have time enough to a kiss, to a short walk till the door of the Bank and says bye my dear, see you soon.
In the evenings they use to go for a long walk in Retiro Park, it is a nice winter to walk and to be alone despite the cold days of Madrid. They don´t feel the rain, the cold, or even the snow that this winter is falling in Madrid. Nothing disturb their walks through the Park or their long talks together. At nigh they could go into a cafeteria or little bar to drink a coffee or a tea, but before 10 p.m. Cuca has to be at home because her mother is firm about the hour a single girl has to be at home, and it is ten o´clock at night, not a minute later.
The Emiliano´s life and projects are in stand bye, he don´t think anything about what is going to do in future. All depends of this incredible girl who which he is falling in love day after day.


SPRING HAS CAME AGAIN

Happiness on earth, that is the world of Maria Jose and Emiliano when they walk together through The Retiro´s Park in Madrid, spring is coming and the park is full of roses, there is specially a site called “La Rosaleda” where hundreds or roses of different colors are opening every day filling the air with their nice odor brighten by the sunset.
The love to walk and taking a seat they could be talking for hours, time pass without sense of anything more that their presence and voices. Cuca is a shy girl than doesn´t want any physical care outside as some body could be watching, she says, so Emiliano is quiet with his hand holding hers being really close to his girl.
Everything has changed in their life and them can´t see future without being together. Retiro´s Park is their site, it is close to Cuca´s house and they could be hours walking or sitting among the large trees of the park.
It could be a time of social movements in Spain but the dictatorship doesn´t allowed anything like strikes, meetings, political parties, and so forth.
In the Bank they were asking for salary increase but the Banks Corporation offers very few benefits and a low salary increase. Workers would like to be in strike but it was not possible as strikes in Spain were forbidden by law. So, instead of strikes workers do which ever other thing they could done. Some days close the office´s door and not customers were allowed to enter as there is not any kind of work inside. Other time workers start to shout or to make noise with their hands clapping them or hitting the table strongly at the same time they shout “Collective Agreement” once and again.
Inside the Head Office there were two thousands of workers, may be more, and they all go to courtyard of Bank operations and make as much noise as possible shouting and clapping their hands too.
They make the noise for ten minutes, three of five times along the morning, and afterward they go to work very slowly. Strikes were forbidden but the results of doing these movements and manifestations were nearly the same. People joining together to fight against the Bank Corporations looking for a better agreement.
Maria Jose and Emiliano participates also in these turmoil that give them lot of excitement. Even some day the little turmoil’s have been in Alcalá Street and the police have begun to hit the people and detain them for doing that. 
Hard time for the dictatorship after last May of 1968.

LEARNING A LANGUAGE

Emiliano follows with his English class, his mind is not in going to Canada now, but he like to learn English as much as possible, first because he likes the language and second because in could be interesting to learn a language in the site he is working in the Bank. Cuca likes French instead, so the two young are going to their class every evening.
The two academies are closed one from the other, five or seven minutes walking and now the two have only an hour of lessons. Emiliano thinks in getting the “Lower Certificate of Cambridge” and he has to go to the University to make the necessary test.
It will be also and exam in the Bank where he is working, passing the exam he could also get an increase in his month salary using the English language in his work. He does he thinks now of going to Canada? Nothing in fact, he is in stand bye, he has told Cuca about his idea thinking she could go with him but this is really difficult, Cuca mother is a widow and Maria Jose thinks that her responsibility is taking care of her mom and she can´t now go away from Spain leaving her mom alone.
So having this in mind Emiliano doesn´t think any more in going out for the moment. No, his place is to be with his loved girl and other subjects are out of consideration now. Loves changes everything inside the soul of humans, and this boy is human after all.
Yes, he feels like a lover now, and the most important thing in the world is Cuca now, thinking in losing her it is insupportable for him already. Everything has changed round the boy, there is not any project without his dear loving Cuca, and such is life that is love in the life of a young man.
It is pouring, rain has been falling since early in the morning but Cuca hasn´t get an umbrella when she went out home. Emiliano is waiting for her and her mind is not thinking about anything more, he is out waiting, come on girl she says to herself. Now she is in the French class and is finishing it already, in a hurry she goes out through the entrance and steps fast up the street to meet his loved boy as soon as possible. It has not any sense to wait for him and losing some precious minutes of their time together, so for her doesn´t matter some drops of water on her hair or overcoat, go fast and see him girl, she says in her mind.
At the same time Emiliano is still in the class room, the teacher looks through the window and she is not anxious to finish her class. It is pouring furiously, who cares to prolong five or six minutes more the teaching and wait some minutes to see if the rain is not so heavy. It is waiting in vain as the rain doesn´t stop a bit and Emiliano is really nerves looking his wring watch and thinking Cuca has not umbrella to be safe of such a lot of water pouring furiously.
He is stepping down the stairs thinking in the girl, but once Emiliano is in the street just in front the academy door is Maria Jose looking at him, smiling and absolutely soaked by the rain.
He, my dear, you are soaked, why don´t you have been waiting for me at your academy´s door, my girl? It has been my fault not to be there to cover my love with the umbrella.
Don´t worry my dear, I was looking forward seeing you immediately, I don´t care to be soaked it is only water and don´t want to delay a second the sight of my loved Emiliano, just a bit of water is not going to stop me of seeing you as soon as possible.
He has not words, that is so incredible from a girl like this, so nice and beautiful, being so modest as declaring her love for him this way. He can´t say anything, only try to dry her hair with his handkerchief and cover her with his umbrella hoping she don´t get a cold doing such a crazy thing. But what can he says to her, she has gone under the heavy rain because she doesn´t want to lose a second waiting for him, this is a real proof of her love for him, thinks Emiliano and he is really happy.
April in Madrid it is a beautiful month, everybody is waiting for the heart of the spring with its colors and long days to walk through the parks.
This couple walks and walks through Retiro Park and they are really happy closely taken one from the arm of the other walking under the trees till the night.

MAY IS COMING

Days are so long that Cuca and Emiliano have lot of hours to talk and to know each other in a short period of time. Every day they are together since five or six o´clock till ten p.m., the hour Cuca has to be at home.Feeling themselves so closed they know what the other thinks or feel without words. Sometimes they are going to say just the same word simultaneously and that subject gives them a lot of funny situations. It seems one reads the mind of the other and it happens frequently, they are so symptomized that it could be true.
The Retiro Park is splendid in May, the couple enjoy the park absolutely, it is one of their sites.
Frequently Emiliano wants to know how Cuca is feeling about her pain in the hip, yes, because he is now conscious the girl is not as good as it could seems. The rule is that when they have been for a long time sitting in the armchair of the theatre her can´t get up herself without a great effort.
Her leg is not strong as to impulse her up from the chair fast enough to be immediately prepared to go.  Usually she feels pain along her leg and she can´t walk properly yet. May be in future she thinks could have problems with her hip and she has told Emiliano about the subject, even Cuca is afraid that could have some difficult to her in the moment of giving life to a baby as she can´t opened her legs completely to let him or her their way in the world that his waiting for the new recent born baby.
That´s no problem says Emiliano, everything is possible now and if there is a problem there are other methods of giving birth to a baby, we are not in middle ages.
As much she could suffer as much Emiliano love the girl being always alert to help her every moment.  
Life is beautiful in Madrid´s spring, the weather is nice, the days are long, the blood is running fast inside Cuca and Emiliano hearts, love is under their skin all the moments they are living and they would want to be completely together soon, why they have to wait?, asks Emiliano to himself, why don´t you come with me Cuca and run away from Spain just in this moment. We can go to everyplace you like, Canada, England, France, or even here in Spain far away your house, mine, and everybody. You and me alone the one for the other for life.  These ideas are running inside Emiliano´s mind but he says nothing yet.

THEIR FIRST ARGUE 

Here they are watching to a film called “The Graduate” with Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft, the songs are from Paul Simon, and it is one of the first movies where Cuca and Emiliano find the good actor Dustin Hoffman.

The plot is about a Graduate young, Dustin Hoffman, that start loving affairs with a married woman, Anne Bancroft, when he returns home and are looking for an University to study or to work. Mrs. Robinson, the woman is the wife of his father´s law partner, and try to seduce Bejamin once he drives her home.
She invites Benjamin inside and removes her clothes to seduce him and says she finds him attractive and wants him to know that she is available to him anytime he wants.
Once the film is over Cuca and Emiliano walks up Gran Via Street and talks about the movie’s plot as they have time enough till tenth hours at nigh, today they have gone on the first hour to the theater to enjoy the film and a walk later.
Cuca doesn´t like to movie, doesn´t like the plot, doesn´t like Benjamin attitude even less Mrs. Robinson’s behavior but Emiliano likes the movie and he says he understand Benjamin´s behavior if he is not engaged with any girl, afterward when he starts to date Mrs. Robinson´s daughter he stops his sexual relations with the woman and that is right. Even so Cuca doesn´t agree and after a while it seems to Emiliano that Cuca´s mind is not as free as him self’s mind. That phrase is enough to have their first argument after four months dating. Just a silly argument, but before getting Cuca´s house they are again more in love than before their argument.
It is so beautiful to have a loving soul beside you that the two lovers are happy and life seems their own heaven in that moments they are going up Gran Via Street towers Cuca´s home.
Tomorrow will be another good day for them.

APRIL 1969 IN MADRID

It´s coming May and Maria Jose has her holidays in her work. She is thinking in going to the beach with her mom, she thinks in going to Salou, a little village in the Mediterranean coast. At the end of April the two lovers want to say each other good bye and have long walks through the Retiro Park, but today they are waking down Castellana Promenade in Madrid, one of the most beautiful promenades of downtown the Spanish capital. After a long walk they seat in an open bar in the middle of the promenade, it is hot and they take a seat under the promenade´s trees and talk peacefully.
They are very close touching one to the other with their sights. Emiliano asks Maria Jose how is she feeling close to him, how has ben these four months going with him and what does she thinks of their relationship?, in fact three questions in one that more or less he knows her answer but he wants to listen it from her dear lips.
She says to him, I feel really very good close to you, in fact I would like to be closer, the four months have been like a dream for her, and she thinks their relation is going absolutely well.
Why do you ask me so, Emiliano? Easy to reply you my dear, because I want to ask you if you like to marry me.
Yes Emiliano, I do, I´ll will be with you for the time you want. But let us live the present because I feel myself happy, very happy. I love you so much that I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Thank you so much my love, I love you as you cannot imagine Cuca, it is such an incredible dream what I am living that it seems like impossible to me. Yes, my dreams come to be reality, I will love you forever, I will care you till my last breath of life my dear love. Thanks so much, never will you regret saying me you love me so.
Emiliano, we have nothing, no house, no furniture, our family doesn´t know anything, it is so fast that result like incredible to me.
That´s the same to me dear, but it doesn´t matter, the way is ahead of us, we have all our life to walk for it, always together and never will we be in a hurry for anything.
When you return from your holidays, next summer we will look for our house and all what we need will come after the house. Enough to live together without luxuries as to me the luxury will be to have you close me every day, every night, all the time my dear love.
It is so good, we have promised and nobody knows anything, not your family, not my mother, not my sister or brother.
Yes, that is true Cuca, but we have time enough to let them know about our love, my family has confidence on me and they know I am dating a nice, very nice girl, so it will be not a big surprise for them.
Be sure Emiliano that for my mother and brothers will be a great surprise, never they ask me anything about you my love. I don´t know why, but it doesn´t matter for me. I love you my dear.
I love you too, so much, you can´t imagine how great it has been my love just from the first moment I saw you in the academy sitting in front of me. Do you remember?.
Yes, of course, I do perfectly well Emiliano. Never I could forget how brave I was asking you so.
Talking so, the couple spend the evening, close one to the other, thinking on their life together just from this day of the end of April 1969 in Madrid.
MAY 1969
Maria Jose is in the beach with her mom, every day she writes to her boy at the same time she received a letter for him. It is the first time they are writing each other so it is a new aspect of their relation.
Both of them like to write putting their feelings on the paper. Writing to a fried, a relative or to your love is something very special.
The time you are moving your hand making letters that could express your feeling it is time you are with that person.
Only you and the loving one, your thoughts are full of energy thinking previously the subjects that there will be send to your fingers to be finally on the paper. After a while, an hour, less or more it depends of the subjects you want to say, the white paper is full of confidences, thoughts, desires, or descriptions, being in fact a good way to know a person, just for the subjects written on the paper by this person and the way of doing it.
Nothing could be more private that a love letter, it is a secret between the two lovers where everything could be said, without limits, with the soul and heart on the phrases of love that the two lovers says each other.
Cuca receives a letter or two every day, she likes them as the first love letters she is receiving in her life. Emiliano is a loving writer and he can express his love for her in a good nice way. She likes to read his letters once and again.
By the other side Emiliano is alone in Madrid, he miss her absolutely, and it is so incredible that last year he had not Maria Jose at his side and now he can´t live without her close near him. How it is possible to change his feeling so fast, he always thinks he could be or live alone for years, that he doesn´t need so much a young woman close to him to be happy. Now life without Maria Jose means nothing to him and it is clear every day he is alone.
But it will be only fifteen days, on the sixteen of May Maria Jose is again in Madrid and again they are together thinking in be very soon even closer. When? That is the question now for this couple.

ANOTHER SUMMER, ANOTHER TIME

It is summer in Madrid once again and Maria Jose and Emiliano are thinking on be together soon. They have nothing yet, not a flat, not money enough, and their families knowing nothing. She has not seen Emiliano´s parents yet, not his sister, but Emiliano is in the same situation. He doesn´t know Cuca´s mother neither her brother nor her sister. All this time the couple has been by their own without giving too much information of their feelings to anybody, but it is necessary to let know something to the family of Emiliano and of Maria Jose, so accordingly nothing is better than a casual encounter of the girl with the parents of Emiliano in the Banco Hispano House in the mountains. 
Cuca and Emiliano need to ask for a weekend holiday in the Banco Hipano´s House in Navacerrada but even the family of him is going to ask this week end in order to meet the girl. Yes, it is funny that the meeting is going to be in a different place that home, in a neutral field as it could be a hotel. So the couple are somehow interested that the subjects of this day need to be o.k. with Emiliano´s family, his parents, his sister and his brother in law.
It is a nice hot day of July in the city, but in the mountain the day is splendid and it seems everything is going right for the couple. They go down to the little river near the big Bank´s House and they take a lot of photos. Afterward all the adults are sitting in the table for lunch. They are Emiliano and Paquita (the parents), Paquita and Paco (sister and brother in law), Maria José and Emiliano (the loving couple) and the air is funny and nice.
First step is taken, Emiliano´s family knows now Maria Jose, and it seems they likes her very much.

It could be the end, but it is not. 





el gatufo