Datos personales

Mi foto
Mi mas oculto deseo fue siempre ser escritor y aprender varios idiomas. He llegado a defenderme bien en Ingles y chapurrear algo de Frances. El cine y la fotografia me fascinan. La música, de todo tipo, ha sido siempre mi relax. La amistad la valora mas que a nada en la vida.

sábado, 23 de septiembre de 2017

WHEN LIFE ESCAPES



Feeling that life escapes without understanding the motive or reason.

Find the solution to chronic illness through a new and promising clinical treatment, and instead noted that forces you to abandon completely, that nothing makes sense, no energy to walk, to be awake, to talk, or even read, and have to keep doing a seemingly normal life when the urge to sobrevir you are leaving.

Two years have passed today, June 15, in a dramatic and momentous decision that marked and will mark a future life, mine, when I decided to stop treatment for HCV was killing me in the hope of ending a virus destroys the liver of the person who contracts it.

Not knowing when, or how, nor where they discovered about the year 1993 that me had chronic disease recently discovered in '91, Hepatitis C, Chronic, which showed no signs or symptoms undermines the patient's health without he himself becomes aware of Unless you make a specific blood test.
Emiliano had treatment, if but little cure. After a year of interferon annihilation virus was almost nonexistent, a very small percentage of successes against the frustration of a hard and expensive treatment.

In my case it had to suspend it in the same year 94 and expect to continue enjoying a life planted by the havoc that could produce said virus.

Year 2012, a new miracle treatment almost illuminates the hopes of hundreds of thousands or millions of people with HCV, including me I still do not have any kind of noticeable symptoms.
The virus exists, exists liver fibrosis, symptoms are not noticeable, but spurred on hopes of defeating the enemy avatar I embark on a new and devastating invasive treatment as I had occasion to check.

Three drugs were responsible for cure and overcome the virus, interferon, ribavirin, and new healing miracle called Telaprevir.
Naive and misinformed thought it would be short duration, three months, six months at most. Very expensive and absolutely new treatment in the case of the third drug.

The devastating effects from almost the first days. I've never felt like dying in that month and a half-long ordeal contidiano prick and taking other drugs.
I could not with my body or my soul, the blood values ​​were a disaster, my weight too, disappeared humor and zest for life or fight well.
Emergency transfusion was necessary to continue the treatment and retrieve values ​​in moderately tolerated blood. So urgent was it seemed my life was in danger, just one night to weigh the following treatment in the hope of overcoming the virus continuing to torture or to put an end to it.

Personal decision and not controversial doctor who agreed with being aware of it did not seem to understand why.
My motives were confusing for me too, I was dying, and a whole year to continue to suffer such torture me unimaginable and irresistible.
It was on the morning of June 15, 2012 when I decided to end the torture of inhuman treatment, devastating to a person about to celebrate his seventy years.
To suffer so much at the risk of life, in the effort to defeat a virus before or after can end the existence of its host.

Nor is it certain that it is so, life is taken from us in many different ways, it is important to take advantage of this time, today, tomorrow is a mystery.

He ended the torture of a treatment that almost cost me my physical and emotional stability.

A depression was the payment I had to pay because then the side effects of drugs.
Interferon, Telaprevir or often lead to such ailments, just like photophobia, moodiness, weight loss, lack of strength, fever, fatigue, insomnia, psychic and emotional weakness to degrees unsuspected.

Not only that, the body deteriorates to levels that can be irresistible, the blood loses all values ​​necessary to continue life, and by the high number of transfusions may be necessary to continue treatment and keep living.

Here today I am celebrating the decision two years ago, with more weight, better mood, recovered strength, and of course with HCV virus continues its destructive guess work that I do not perceive.

The end nobody knows, we all die one way or another, to try to wage a destructive battle so exhausting and when you get to the beginning of his life.
Best enjoy the moment, this moment where you feel good, wanting to write, live, eat, sleep, and death always seems so distant to us when in fact we always play with her cold hand.
Greetings and thanks to life which has given me so much.







el gatufo

TALK WITH US






Multiple sclerosis and other feelings




How calmly you talk and explain that you suffer illness is Cuca, the Multiple Sclerosis think it is easy to explain and assimilate ?.
Do not be silly, it is very difficult or almost impossible to explain or assimilate, every day dawns and still the same or worse, do not know how it will be that day, if you can merge or not, how much help you'll need at all times, there are times when you manage to sit up for yourself, others do not and have to get up like a sack of potatoes, you think people or one you love must be tired of you, tired and you're a hindrance in their lives, but not you die, well some if they die soon but most, and those who tell me not have to wake up three hundred sixty-five days a year knowing you're a useless thing, that each passing week it'll be a little more every year more, and at the end you will still be needed almost all kinds of support for the most vital functions.
Do you think that's easy to grasp?.

The truth is that thinking like you just tell not, may not be easy to grasp for anyone, but I see so calm, do not lose the humor, you play with the computer, you laugh, enjoy watching a movie or chatting with friends, sometimes it seems like nothing happened.
Besides you appear much younger than you have thought you had it very well understood or assimilated and that the disease was not so present in your head.

++++


It is every day of the year and I have to work all the time, every single day of my life now, every hour of the day you do not notice in my character, that does not take up my life completely, not monopolize the lives of those around me, or the person who takes care of me, Emiliano certainly pretense, pretend, I entertain thinking about a thousand things to review again and again, day after day in a kind of wheel without purpose other than for three day of the month touches me think about this, and six in another, so I repeat stories, country, facts, and many things that absorb me not to think about my future, I have not, in my illness in if I can add I am in charge I represent every day, and that effort to be busy every minute of the day, not to think about anything on this that I tell you, it's what keeps me well, apparently noticeable.

Look good mood, happy, and sometimes achieving forget and I am, I have been and am happy over many times, I am with my friends or people who come to see me, he loves me, friends or family and especially spending hours beside the person I love, already imagine who is. In this our beloved cat has been and is an essential aid.

And that's the reality of everyday life, for me there is nothing, today, tomorrow when I go to bed and think of how it will be even one more day tomorrow, I do not think if I can, if I hurt more, if I can spend a half day well, none of that goes through my mind when I lie down, succeeded in isolating these issues within a large box and think of the Oscar, passages of history, Capitals African Nations, or I listing the States States of America, placing them in the mental map that I have in all continents of the globe.
I have been doing this many years since I saw that this was, that was not going to die soon as it was my desire and especially when I decided not to rankle of those who love me, my daughters, my friends and especially my life partner Emiliano.

Cuca amazing, and that really helps ?, that helps you remember the days pass without your disability status, the strange disease that you suffer for many, I assure me ?. Would you make sure everyone who can read these lines and is in a similar situation to yours with this disease Multiple Sclerosis or other similar ?.

Helps me greatly, give me encouragement to go off emililano day after day, you want me and the do every night in bed my recovery, I extend as much as possible the time of my absolute inability and therefore physically and mentally work day after day.
At least I think I do something helpful and I can not help in other aspects of our lives retrasaré as much as possible the effects of the disease, for him and me.

I absolutely want my daughters, I would spare them suffering at me like that, I understand that coming soon as it is difficult to bear the sight of a mother in this state, a mother who should have helped these at your side to everything they wished and absolutely not in this sorry state of view or live.

I understand them and never ask them to come more often, so that, to suffer ?. No, better not, I think they have life and suffer as little as possible rather does his father.

Bravo for you Cuca, are a person of integrity amazes me. No one, or almost no one would think as you think about your family or friends. The sick care, who want him to understand him, to visit him, he becomes selfish, is not your case and I admire deeply for it.

I congratulate you for this, at heart, and I think you can feel proud of what you do and your outlook on life.
Thank gatufo ?, if the name you've made you.

Thanks also to heart if you understand what I'm telling you is that you're smarter than I thought, that grace you making that face.

It's easy to understand or explain, I wish that those who want me to suffer as little as possible, if you want me , come and stand beside me possible to make your stay enjoyable, not painful, and if you do not want to see me because they find it very hard, I understand perfectly because I love you too much to be selfish.

Cuca until another day.



el gatufo

ONCE AND AGAIN





Back to live the same experience, once and again to the the point that
It seems that everything in my life now is a constant "déjà vu" , because what I feel see and think sometimes it is repeated once and again so that I have the feeling of having lived that experience before.

Sometimes it is the same "mea culpa" for actions that I have made and I promised not to repeat again, I feel the same tired before the reality of every day, the same boredom to what is happening which is usually a relentless repetition of facts,ideas, actions, speeches or actions unrelated to me but that affects me again and again.

The human being of thousand years before only lived thirty or forty years optimistic, and I guess it was enough to make life essentially, they were born, grow up, be adults soon after , and die soon, only lived to have more children and be dead almost immediately.


They lived their childhood, adolescence / youth / love with luck, and sooner than later they have children and very rarely grandchildren.He lived needed to continue to spread our species, it seems to be the goal of all living creatures that inhabit this planet.Today probably we live too much, we have enough time. We have enough time, those serving over fifty, to repeat and live experiences over and over again.

We return to take care of our children, grandparents and parents simultaneously, stability-instability, development-recession, relativism faith-backward progress, social gains-lost rights, freedom, repression, and so many of the values ​​certainly supposedly won through struggle and wars are now 
in question again as on decades later.It is sometimes tired, at least for me, and I feel some skepticism seeing repeated the cycles, live them again and again over a single lifetime.


And what is worse, to repeat the same mistakes that we promised not to commit once and again.  There is a sayin that said "a donkey does not stumble twice on the same Stone". Why humans stumble so often on that ssme stones?. Yes, that happens countless.I wonder:How many recessions since the 30sHow many social reforms.How many laws enacted by remedying our lives.How many wars past and present in so few years.The rights won and then lost.The list is endless.

All this living in the same own life.


And the feeling we live  the same story, that the script, is repeated once and again makes
me feel that "deja vu" constantly.Yes, there are unrepeatable experiences in the life of any human being, and minethere .... few but selected and they will not ever repeat again.Falling in love, the first salary, the first and subsequent children, a trip with  theloved one, and some more facts ..... all that one some extent living may have lived.
 

Some more than others, of course, that depends on luck?The destination?Who knows?........In this world so dull and repetitive for people, like me, who have livedenough there something new that I love quite a lot, I like and want to learn about,..............
Computer, web, internet, social pages and everything that involves the multimedia world it is facinating.
Yes, this is new and I have never quite felt that the history of somehowtake other paths, for better or worse and that depend of us.
But at least for the computer world I do not feel that "deja vu" that re-
living situations that I know I have lived years before.In some ways it's great, at least I do think so. 




el gatufo

YEARS AGO

Sunday...




Last year a sunday it was similar to a monday, we staid at home nearly all days of the week.
Writing here it is my task to go away from Madrid and be in the web with my blog´s friends.

Being a marry man, working all my life out home, I was very bad accustomed to do nearly nothing at home.

My wife Cuca is sick, with a bad sickness "multiple esclerosis" and she likes to be indoors doing her life, Reading, listening to the radio, or the news and even, typing in the keyboard of her pc., so a sunday is a similar day to other day of the week.
The rutine of sundays is that a person comes home to do house chores, help me with the hard work  of a house. This person is like a friend of us now. For years she has been coming on sundays because the rest of week days are working doing other things.

These was before, it was was wrote last year, now just today everything has changed as I could say in other ocasión.
Every day is coming Isabel, the peruvian friend to help me with the chores of the house, little by little things change and this year 2014 it is different from the last of 2012 or some years before.

Now I have help to look after my dear wife and home.
It was my wife, Cuca, who take care of the children and the house.

Suddenly she was ill, it seems her illness was going to pass soon, but it wasn´t so and at the end her husband, me,  needs to start a new life as a house keeping.

Yes, this was a new life for me, taking care of my dear wife, looking for the supplies, cooking, going to shop, doing everything a girl or a woman it is supposed to do at home.

Why not men? ....A good question.
So last year and today, of course,  I understand very well what a good woman do at home, it is a difficult work that is not appreciate for us, men, who are absolutely selfish, proud of our Works out home.

Till the moment a person start to do something different, he or she is not aware of the difficult task a house could be, and yes for me it is.
Here at home I have known something about house chores, but outside this my little world I do not know what is happening in the outdoors world.

Yes, the world of outside home, the Spain´s world, The Europa´s world, and so forth....what is happening over there?

So easy to know that I am fed up about the bad news of every day.




el gatufo




CUCA LO MEJOR




Cuca, lo mejor y mas bello que me ha sucedido
en la vida.





Su sonrisa hoy



Cuca hoy.


Lo mejor y mas bello que en mi vida ha ocurrido es ella, Cuca, Maria José mi fiel y muy querida esposa.

Bella por dentro y por fuera, alegre, vivaz, abnegada, buena en todos los sentidos, inteligente para entender la vida, tambien para el estudio y saber atesorar una cultura envidiable.

La persona de la que he aprendido infinidad de cosas esenciales que han ido mejorando mi caracter y de la que sigo aprendiendo día tras día pues todos y cada uno de los dias de mi vida tras conocerla hablo con ella y escucho su maravillosa voz que me transmite fuerza y sosiego.

Una grata sonrisa siempre en su rostro que alegra la vida de todos los que la rodean.

Tal es mi querida Cuca, buena madre, inmejorable esposa, la mejor amiga, mi mas preciado tesoro, mi mejor amiga en los buenos y malos ratos que la vida te otorga, ella siempre al pie del cañón.


Siempre libre, igual a un junco que con el viento o la tormenta se dobla hacia un lado u otro pero luego vuelve a su ser permaneciendo enhiesto y nadie hay que lo arranque o lo tronche.

Así es ella, lo mejor y mas bello.






el gatufo

lunes, 18 de septiembre de 2017

MAJADAHONDA ACERAS




Aceras en Majadahonda, una de las ciudades mas ricas de España
y por supuesto de la provincia de Madrid.
Imposible transitar por ellas, menos con una silla de ruedas que es
el caso de mi esposa y de multitud de ancianos que habitan las 
Residencias Geriátricas de la esta opulenta ciudad que ha sido nido de corrupciónes ubanísticas decenas de años.

No es de extrañar al ver esto.














Sin comentarios, imagenes hablan por si solas.

Mares hay muchos en Majadahonda, pero sin agua e imposible transitar por estas calles con nombres de mares.
¿Quizás en barca si llueve mucho?.
Sería digno de ver pues caminar debes hacerlo por mitad de la calzada por donde pasan los cochazos.





el gatufo

PROMESAS







Inmenso amor escondido en la rutina
de dos vidas singulares.
La tuya y la mia unidas por un "si quiero"
otorgado años ha.
Unidos para siempre hasta que la muerte
nos separe.
Palabras que se dicen entrañando un 
gran enigma.
Desconocimiento absoluto del como sera
el o ella.
Sorpresa compartida viviendo este amor
callado.
Humor cotidiano ante situaciones gozosas
o adversas.
Tras muchos años repetimos el si quiero
que tal día como hoy.
Dos inexpertos jóvenes se dijeron otorgando
vida y corazón.
Frente a un futuro desconocido e incierto
que lo ha ido cambiando todo.
Ahí estan juntos de nuevo dispuestos a 
seguir amándose.
Sin importarles lo que ha sido o será
su futuro por descubrir.






el gatufo

sábado, 16 de septiembre de 2017

POEMS AND LIFE






Looking round whichever thing that surrounds us we could say
or take in mind the words of the famous English poet: 



Love the sunshine of the meadow,
Love the shadow of the forest,
Love the wind among the branches,
And the rain-shower and the snow-storm,
And the rushing of great rivers.


"The Song of Hiawatha" 
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


------------


Love the smile on your face
Love the softness of your voice
Love the nights of Winter together
Love the touch of your fingers on my skin
Love the noise of your breath sleeping
Love the sound of your heart against mine.



Thanks dear poet, may be you inspire me with
your kind words.






el gatufo

SIN TU AMOR






Tanto tiempo esperando
una dicha semejante
y tan efímera fue que pienso
no sirvió de nada ser fiel
fiel a que, a quien, a una idea
nunca pensé que la ilusión
fuera tan corta, que sin tu
amor tan pronto despertar sería
cotidiano dolor en lugar de amor
vivir sin ti es un imposible
que nunca pensé podría soportar.







Igual que te amé
nadie te amará
cuando despiertes 
no me encontrarás
de ti ausente estaré

de amante no correspondido
mi soledad ya no sentirás







Sin tu amor la vida viviré
sin amor como el mío
ya nunca mas amada vivirás

el tiempo pasará
mi ausencia en desamor
pronto sufrirás.







Destino cruel haberte conocido
sufrimiento continuo de amante sin amor
viendo al ser querido siempre a su lado
sin atreverse a decirle te amo mi amor.

Estarás ya acompañada ¿pero feliz te sientes?
pregunta siempre al borde cuando te veo
no me atrevo un día más siendo cobarde
a confesarte mi encendida espera.







el gatufo

RECORDAR POEMAS




Rehabilitar, rehabilitar?
Solo el cuerpo, las piernas, los brazos?

Y la mente?
La memoria?

Que dejamos para nuestros previos conocimientos sobre historia, geografia, o poesia?

Poco o muy poco en realidad.

Cuando veo a los ancianos, o no tan ancianos, hacer ejercicios en la medida que cada uno puede, poco, mucho o casi nada me pregunto a veces ¿y que pasa con sus mentes?.
¿No sería bueno hacer una terapia mental recordando algunas nociones de cultura que hace años tuvieron o tuvimos?.

Yo mismo cuando estoy con Cuca tratamos los dos de ejercitar nuestras mentes con retazos de cultura que alguna vez tuvimos y es estupendo recordar juntos algunas poesias, memorizarlas e incluso recitarlas en voz alta al unísono.

Se lo recomiendo a todos.


José de Espronceda - La canción del pirata


Con diez cañones por banda,
viento en popa a toda vela,
no corta el mar, sino vuela,
un velero bergantín;
bajel pirata que llaman
por su bravura el Temido
en todo el mar conocido
del uno al otro confín.
La luna en el mar riela,
en la lona gime el viento
y alza en blando movimiento
olas de plata y azul;
y ve el capitán pirata,
cantando alegre en la popa,
Asia a un lado, al otro Europa,
Y allá a su frente Estambul:
-Navega, velero mío,
  sin temor
que ni enemigo navío,
ni tormenta, ni bonanza
tu rumbo a torcer alcanza,
ni a sujetar tu valor.
Veinte presas
hemos hecho
a despecho
del inglés
y han rendido
sus pendones
cien naciones
a mis pies.
Que es mi barco mi tesoro,
que es mi Dios la libertad;
mi ley, la fuerza y el viento;
mi única patria, la mar.
Allá muevan feroz guerra
ciegos reyes
por un palmo más de tierra,
que yo tengo aquí por mío
cuanto abarca el mar bravío
a quien nadie impuso leyes.
Y no hay playa
sea cualquiera,
ni bandera
de esplendor,
que no sienta
mi derecho
y dé pecho
a mi valor
Que es mi barco mi tesoro,
que es mi Dios la libertad;
mi ley, la fuerza y el viento;
mi única patria, la mar.
A la voz de ¡barco viene!,
es de ver
cómo vira y se previene
a todo trapo a escapar:
que yo soy el rey del mar
y mi furia es de temer.
En las presas
yo divido
lo cogido
por igual:
sólo quiero
por riqueza
la belleza
sin rival.
Que es mi barco mi tesoro,
que es mi Dios la libertad;
mi ley, la fuerza y el viento;
mi única patria, la mar.
¡Sentenciado estoy a muerte!
Yo me río:
no me abandone la suerte,
y al mismo que me condena
colgaré de alguna antena
quizá en su propio navío.
Y si caigo,
¿qué es la vida?
Por perdida
ya la di
cuando el yugo
del esclavo
como un bravo sacudí.
Que es mi barco mi tesoro,
que es mi Dios la libertad;
mi ley, la fuerza y el viento;
mi única patria, la mar.
Son mi música mejor
aquilones,
el estrépito y temblor
de los cables sacudidos
del negro mar los bramidos
y el rugir de mis cañones.
Y del trueno
al son violento,
y del viento,
al rebramar,
yo me duermo
sosegado,
arrullado
por el mar.
Que es mi barco mi tesoro,
que es mi Dios la libertad;
mi ley, la fuerza y el viento;
mi única patria, la mar.

++++++

LOPE DE VEGA


¿Qué tengo yo, que mi amistad procuras?
¿Qué interés se te sigue, Jesús mío,
que a mi puerta, cubierto de rocío,
pasas las noches del invierno oscuras?

¡Oh, cuánto fueron mis entrañas duras,
pues no te abrí! ¡Qué extraño desvarío,
si de mi ingratitud el hielo frío
secó las llagas de tus plantas puras!


¡Cuántas veces el ángel me decía: 
«Alma, asómate ahora a la ventana,
verás con cuánto amor llamar porfía»!

¡Y cuántas, hermosura soberana,
«Mañana le abriremos», respondía,
para lo mismo responder mañana!