DEPRESSION

Depression

Is there something similar to that? Something so bad as living into a deep depression? Something so worst as don´t want to live a single day more? Something like a feeling of not being understood even for the people you love more?
Something so estrange as not having strength to do anything? Something so awful as to be in bed for hours not wanting to know anything about your world, the people you love, your work or interests? Something so peculiar as not be interested about your money, the news, or the friends?. Not wanting to talk with anyone, or seeing other people. not wanting to pick up the telephon and feeling you have not voice, your tune is low, different, you have a continuous pain, it seems the time so long, every day it is a torture and you want only to die as soon as possible?

Such kind of feelings that no body round you, or even yourself can´t understand it is what a depressed person feels for one and another day....til when?. Thats the question repeated several times a day.

It seems that your mind is clear because you may think, you think too much but everything it is without any bright.
There is not hopes, you feel that have fall in a deep hole and it is nearly imposible to go up from it.
Yes it seems it is not possible for you to be out from it.
(But it is posible, have in mind that)

Impossible to enjoy your life, you are not hungry, always thirsty because your mouth is dry, so many pills taken gave you a sensation that you need to drink every moment.
Money for what? You have not any interest in spending it as there is nothing you may feel interested.
The only thing you want more it is to be in the bed for hours sleeping, without thinking any more.

Even you have the sensation of being a trouble to the people you love, you are a burden so heavy that not any body knows what to say you, how to give you any help and it seems you have not any will to get out from that situation.
You hate any kind of advise friends could gave you, yes it seems easy for them but who could understand the way you are following day after day.
Such a big effort to survive.

The feeling of being so bad it is going to long for ever, is it just what you think?, what you feel? every morning, a new day for what? to suffer it so many hours? It is better to be asleep as much as possible, not thinking, not seeing any body, not having to talk, not having to live.

Little by little you think it is better just to be dead, you are a burden and the people you love sure they would be better without you. So why not, it is easy to die when you have not any will to be alive.

But how? when?, which is it the best form?. The insane idea comes and goes continuously once and again along every day, along a week, a month, a year......till when?. For ever?, yes it seems that you, me. are going to live this way without any rest for years, or for ever, who knows?. So great effort to go on a day after another.

What can I said about THAT?.

A single thing... it is not true, it is not true my friends....by all means it si not TRUE.
It is necessary to fix this idea inside your, my, mind deep inside every second you, me, are living this unhappy situation.

After living a depression twice I know that yes, it is possible to be out from it if you fight with all you forces to be out from the black túnel, up from the deep hole you think are being to stay for life, or for too long, so long that you think it could be impossible to resist your sorrows, your insane thoughts, your sadness, your absolute lack of interest about life.

Not anybody may understand what a depressed person is feeling at least for all of them that have not suffered at least one through their life.
Unthinkable to every one close to you, or me,  how much this depressed person is suffering if you have never gone by a similar situation, and it is best not to have gone ever through it.

Other kind of sickness it is very understable for people despite they have never be sick or have passed through such a bad episode of illness but not a depression if they have not suffered one.
So please, people who knows nothing about it, do not give any advise to a depressed one, it is for nothing and the only result could be to exasperate even more the depressed one.

Living beside a depressed son, wife, father or lover it is like being in hell, you don´t know what to do, what to say, how to cared the loved relative or lover. All seems too difficult, and sometimes the loving relation it is finished after passing through that.
The lover who resist this in his partner it could be because she or he loves very very much, as at the end the atmosphere could be really hard of resisting.

Yes, having pass through twice living experiences of depression I could know what I am talking about and I know quite well how bad a depression could be for the person who suffers it and the people who is living close to him/her.

There is nothing similar to suffering this illness, because the person who suffers it is sick, very sick by all means, and he/she needs treatment and too much love. Patience, a strong charácter beside him or her, and first of all the idea that at the end this depression has cure.
Yes it has cure, despite we all think that going through a situation so bad there is not any hope.

All we need to know and be sure about that, the depressed one first,  it is a period of time that has its end. That it is necessary to much will to go through it day after day, obeying the doctor, taking the pills, eating without any desire, to get up from bed early, to go for a walk once a day or even more, not to think in killing oneself as the best option. No, this option has not return, having depressed has return to a new situation that have positive reactions inside the feelings of people that return from it. Usually for good, yes, we are another kind o person once we feel better, once we feel the depression is off from our soul. Again we enjoy the fact of being alive and we use to be better persons after all.

Life has another meanings so, not everything is bad after all, as which ever thing that makes us suffering  and it don´t kill us ......at the end makes us more strong.
It is for sure, I have the experience already.

Who suffers knows what is the fact of living with this feeling, suffering every momento for a long time, and the lack of it makes us more happy. It is like being born once again.
Usually it makes us more human, we accept better the other people suffers. 

Too much hope for people who can read this, my experience has been bad, too bad for twice but at the end just now I am right. Happy of living again, once time more. With time to reconciliate with my world, with God, with persons that love me or not love me. It is the same, another time, another life, another bright in common things as breath, as seeing a nice picture, or have a good talk.

In the midle of a deep depression, please think that being happy again in future it is possible after all. Have always this thought inside your mind dear friends.

See this link, it could be good for you as it has been good for me...

http://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_breel_confessions_of_a_depressed_comic.html

 

el gatufo.

WHY IT IS ALWAYS THE SAME RULE

Why being in democracy persons designed to be presidents or first ministers use to be always the same that were before, once, two or even three times in countris where it is possible to do that.
Twice it is enough to do what a person have in mind to iimprove the life of citizens doing the things they think it could be the best for the country at the moment.

I like countries like EE.UU. where a president can be choosen only twice, that is the best as by my own point of view.

And the question could be, which is the reason to repeat once, two, three or four times the same people to govern a country?.
It is because they want to win, to held power for years and other subjects doesn´t matter?

What about people who votes?.

Their opinión doesn´t matter at all?. There is not any best candidate in the parties to choose the one who has the power in that moment?.
Some times democrats seems dictators by all means, and inside the parties it is so always. Bad for people of a country where lists are not open.....like mine, Spain, for instance.

It is so difficult to release the hands from the power once we have it?. To get up from the chair once we are sitting on the throne.

Of course a dictator it is absolutely difficult to throw away from their position, there is a lot of good examples of that, but what about the so bad called democracies?
Once the ring of power is on my finger no one likes to take off from his hand and give the power to the best one.
Humans after all.
We all like power more than anything more.

We have a good book, one of the best I think, where this is the gist of three nice incredible good books of fantasy, or reality it depends of points of view.

To me "Lord of the Rings" has this incredible good example of "What power it is" and how much it cost to left it aside.

One of the best good personages of the book, the nice good Hobbit Frodo is unable to throw "The Ring of Power"  to the fire and destroy it
once He has the ring in his hands.

After being one of the best Hobbits, generous, trusted to follow the good way doing what is right, making a high sacrifice to finish his mission, at the end He can´t do it, he can´t throw away the  power and have to be SAM, the humble generous friend that doesn´t want any power and have not be tempted by them who throw the ring of powe away from his hands to the fire and destroy it for ever.

Just a good lesson to have in mind......the power corrupts people and as much power they have more corrupted they finished.....

Please, renew candidates every eight years or less, it is necessary if we like to be in Democracy.

I would be good for us, for them, for the countries that democratic parties popose new persons to be presidents every period of time.
People needs to be renovated and also needs generate illusions.

By my short experience living in democracy, presidents, first ministers , and goverments made their great mistakes along second or third legislatures.

Some last examples could be:

Bush, Blair, Aznar, F.Gonzalez, Zapatero, Berlusconi, Chirac, Mitterrand.....only to mention next firts ministers or presidents.......................and what about dictators?.
Now Angela Merkell seems to be elected once again, that´s incredible
have not she done enough?.
Yes, by all means she has done enough, good or bad, it depends of the points of view of people of German....or the rest of South Europeans countries.

But yhat´s onother story I don´t like to touch.

EE.UU., following the rule always propose the same person who is president at the moment as the best candidate to repeat. Power after all, but at least it is only by second candidatura.

Please, be happy despite so many difficulties along this new year.....
that is nearly begining.

el gatufo

THOUGHTS AND POEMS

Inside pains

Just a sudden paint gives sorrows enought to forget what we are.
Uncertain sadness confuse our mind to think we still are alive.
Not knowing if tomorrow will be the same.

Future pains are now so real that blinds our reality of today.
Suffering that moment only anticípated in our mind.
Anxiety be off from me, you are not true, remain in silence.

You are a figure anticipated that gives pain and suffering.
Yes, my mind is so uncertain of what are going to happen.
Only it is sure what today I am living so be quite in peace.

Tomorrow will be another day and every thing could be bright.

Children / Women

Illusion seeing children
Flight open and blink of eyes was
A time that seems long for ever
When short as a dream it is
Ephemeral joy of yesterday
Pain of today use to be remembering
Only in mind other time
When little at my side you were
Chilhood only in mind gives me pain
As being present today
I feel you adult women of today
Far away already from my side.

My Love

Without wanted, without feeling it nearly without being concious
I fell in love.
Thin, nice, beautiful crazy girl, we were living the sixties.
Deluded years from one generation that confused everything.
Love, miracle daily bright that enlight my entire life.
After fourty years or more of living, without feeling them being together.
Today I still fell in love with you once and again till I´ll die.




Depression

I am not the same I felt yesterday.
Changed without knowing why?
It is today what let me empty?

Ideas come and go without any sense
Thoughts incessant that drill the head
Not hopes only awaiting everything go by

Be you I say, but so another day
Going after chimeras that vanish
There is not any sense or hopes just wait

One and another day, waiting for what
Dead without doubts, easy relax for ever
Sleep, not to think, not to suffer, not await

Sleep for ever, at the end rest perhaps?
Who knows? life it is a not sense being so
when there is not will to continue

Only rest is the time, today only rest is my will.



Asleep

I thought when beside me you sleep
look at your freckled face, your smile so craved.
The love in your eyes, your lighting look .
The tune of your voice, if you are blue or happy.
Some things I imagin looking you sleepy.
Close my side you follow and a new day dawns.

Waiting what for

Far away from our real world
Quite we see the past of days
Gathering enough time to past
the years.

Sunset shorten our time
uncertain future we await
despite prisioners here we are
without anxiety time past

Happy following the path
sooner or later the end would be
to our life together waiting
the happy life being in peace.

                  el gatufo

MADRID AN OLYMPIC CITY ON 2020? NO it wasn´t it will be Tokyo instead..

(Gatufo´s video of Madrid, it is a long video of half and hour with different

sites of the City)

+ + + + +

Yes, Madrid wanted to be the Olympic City on the year 2020 but it wasn´t possible, every body knows it already, but in march when I wrote this there was hopes to get the goal.....

IT WAS TOKYO...........congratulations to Tokyo.....from Madrid.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Today Madrid is a big city, nothing similar to the city I knew when I was a boy and walk round its streets and squares, in fact I can´t recognise this city of today less friendly than fourty or thirty years ago.

Its a beautiful city, without any doubt, Madrid has some museums so good as el Prado, Thyssen, Reina Sofia, and parks as El Retiro or Casa de Campo.

Also there is the Royal Palace, Sabatini Gardens, Gran Via with its incredible buildings different from other cities of the world.

Years ago every person who came here to live, after some time it was a madrilean more, it doesn´t matter which part of the world she ot he was born.

At the end these people love the city as it was of them, their city by all means.

My parents came from Burgos when they were married already, I was the only one that was born in the city, the Little city then, but it was so nice, friedly, funny as always it was. They, my parents, seems madrileans after ten years living here.

The castellano language here sounds different, as in every land of Spain, but we talk so different that the language its called "castizo" because we use a lot of words and expressions that they are not used other parts of Spain.

+ + + + + + + +

We have our own music, "chotis", that is sing and dance in the feasts, but also our own Opera that here we call it "Zarzuela", it is similar to an Opera but its also spoken at the same time that the music sounds and the singers sing. I do love Zarzuelas, and despite there are these kind of music from all lands of Spain, Madrid has their own Zarzuelas where the way of speaking of "castizos" are the accent that is necessary to use.

The girls are called "chulapas" and the boys "chulapos" and all they have a peculiar way of being dressed, nice coloured garments and also the girls wear "mantones de manila" what is absolutely necessary for them if they wanted to be good dressed.

+ + + + + + + + +

There are some Zarzuelas very funny and quiete a good music, several in fact, but some of the best known are "La Verbena de la Paloma", "La Revoltosa", "La Gran Via", "El Barberillo de Lavapiés". "Luisa Fernanda"...it was singed by the good Tenor Alfredo Kraus  Placido Domingo but also Javier Pons or Jose Carreras and some of the best sopranos or mezosopranos like Teresa Berganza, Nancy Herrera, Maria Rodríguez, and so forth.......

Once I went to  the theatre to watch a Zarzuela called " Luisa Fernanda", singed by Plácido Domingo it was sitting close near to me Alfredo Kraus, one of the best tenors

Spain has for long.

Usually Madrid´s music is pleasant, bustling and cheerful just how madrileños are. Friendly nice people who take life easy, without too much troubles.

+ + + + + + + + +

The city now it is quite different, all has changed to be a big European city, for good or for bad I really don´t know.

Life is different, hard, too much noise, millions of people from every where of the world, some of the áreas that was absolutely typical have changed drasticaly, for worst.

But time changes everything and this my city wasn´t an exception, no so much "castizos" "chulapas" or "chulapones" instead people from China, Equador, Maroc, Peru, Colombia, Nigeria, Argentina, Rumania, Russia, Ukrania, and thirty or more countries have taken their place.

At the end all these people will be madrileños too, that´s for sure, but it will take several years to be truth.

Now Madrid has

 another kind of events that makes the city one of the first in Cultural event in Europe and other parts of the World...

+ + + + + +

MADRID WANTS TO BE AN OLYMPIC CITY ON THE YEAR 2020...

Will be it posible?

I love and hate Madrid.

Of course, I was born in this city.

Why? that´s a mystery to me.

(Puerta del Sol, it is the 0 km. of Spain because all the roads of

the Nation start here, like the centre of Iberian Península)

Greetings, el gatufo.

ISABEL OF CASTILE (THE ILLUSION OF A KINGDOM CALLED SPAIN)

Isabella of Castile Queen of Castile and Spain.


Coat of Ferdinand and Isabella (1491). Even without the grenade, the first legend of the blue field reads: "sign of the king and the queen."Michel Sittow"


Ferdinand II of Aragon, her husband,King of Aragon and Spain.Isabel on his deathbed, Medina del Campo / Valladolid   

Doña Isabel la Católica dictando su testamento

Eduardo Rosales, 1864

Óleo sobre lienzo • Romanticismo

400 cm × 290 cm

Museo del Prado, Madrid, España

Ferdinand II of Aragon, her husband,King of Aragon and Spain.Isabel on his deathbed, Medina del Campo / Valladolid



Surrender of the Kingdom of Granada






(Isabel of Castile. (The illusion of a Kingdom called Spain)



Queen by chance, happened to Henry IV of Castile, "The Powerless", the death of his brother Alfonso (brother of Elizabeth) in early age due to the ingestion of herbs.The alleged daughter of Henry IV King of Castile then was called "The Beltraneja" by reason of being conceived as the gossips of the time for Beltran de la Cueva, a friend of King Henry IV and Queen Juana of Portugal , his wife and queen of Castile.

After several fights, disputes, deaths and other herbsElizabeth I was crowned Queen of Castile, with that name, in 1474 at the age of 24 years.We had married a los19 years with Ferdinand of Aragon, King of Sicily, who was two years younger than her.
Isabel's dream was to unite the Iberian Peninsula in asingle kingdom, which began the conquest of the lastbastion that the Arabs possessed then, Granada, gravidathat it took about 20 years to achieve.Legends of the time say that Queen Isabel promised not to change his shirt inside until you get into Granada .... something really little to be trusted.

Granada was conquered in 1492, the very same year that Christopher Columbus discovered the new land he believed were the Indies .... and not subsequently found a new continent was called America by the discoverer Amerigo Vespucci.At last Elizabeth's dreams were being fulfilled and it had to be necessary to bear five children.Most of them married first Elizabeth was the heir Portuguese, and to die this the remarried a cousin of the deceased heir named Manuel who was king of Portugal by the name of Manuel I "The Lucky".A child born of this union, but both the son and heir to his mother Elizabeth died soon after.
The result was that Portugal became part of the future kingdom that would be a shame ..... Spain.The son and heir of Isabel I and Ferdinand of Aragon, Juan was married to Margaret of Habsburg, but was so enamored of the poor prince Margarita died shortly so weary of amatory practice.

Margarita was pregnant when he died John, gave birth to aman ... could be the heir ... but soon sadly left this world much sooner than expected.When the heir dies John the realm of what would be going to Spain Isabel, then queen of Portugal, married to Manuel I "the Fortunate" and expecting a child this .... (of little lucky because he dies the wife and son), married yet another sister named Maria Isabel and reportedly was the only happy children of Ferdinand and Isabella .......This child that comes to be born with the name Michael but as I said before suddenly dies like his mother Queen Isabel of Portugal, can not complete the dream of her grandmother Isabella I of Castile, queen and what would Spain.Shame, Michael could have been King of Spain and Portugal joining the Iberian Peninsula into one kingdom.And who is to reign in Spain, as another princess by the name of Joan, second daughter of Kings Católicos....Isabel / Fernando.

Ana married Philip had "called the Beautiful" was the son of Emperor Maximilian I of Germany to effect.Great, Germany and the Kingdom of Spain could join in the figure of Philip I "Habsburg" King of Spain, ... and Germany's future if elected by the voters of that empire as such.Fatality or not know, but I also Philip dies, the legend says that after playing a ball game, be sweating and drinking a glass of cold water.What would the water, if we know that was a little kingsympathetic to Fernando, husband of Elizabeth I who haddied in 1504 and the husband had married again Fernando Germaine de Foix, and also she is expecting a child is born and then dies?.Ferdinand of Aragon, the widow, died in 1516 in Esñaña seeing his daughter Queen Juana called "Loca" ... greatsee a crazy daughter reigning in their domains.

Philipp der Schöne.
Nominal Queen of CastilePhilip I of Castile ..... "The hemoso" and his wife Juana called "Loca" ...... with love for her husband Philip I

This Philip I, the Handsome, died in 1506 when he is King of Spain and inagurando the Habsburg dynasty (Habsburg Hispanicized).Elizabeth must have died almost worth, everyone was dying tohis eyes, his daughter, his son and heir, heir his grandson, the son of his daughter heir, and luckily did not see what happened to Felipe "The Beautiful" who died so suddenly perhaps aided by some herbs dissolved in water in order of who? ... his wife Juana mad with love.

The dynastic disaster was tremendous, the Kingdom went to a Queen who called Juana "la Loca" for traveling with her late husband, embalmed, throughout the lands of his kingdom Spain never was clear where the coffin was.
He was still in love with him, and could not bear to bury him as the holy custom of those times.Dead of Queen Juana "la Loca" came from the Netherlands aHer son, Charles, born in Ghent did not even knowentoces speak the Castilian.

For all overseas perfect Castilian speaking a strange language.He was born in Ghent in 1500 and came here with all his courtiers and foreign advisors were very badly received in Castile, and with good reason.Result, bloody civil war by the Dukes and Knights Castilian king did not want a 19 year old came from abroad, not speaking the language, to reign one of the greatest kingdoms of the time.The Communards called under Juan Bravo and preferred to Padilla's brother Carlos, Fernando, raised in Spain by his grandfather Ferdinand II of Aragon, husband of the deceased (the also deceased) Isabella I of Castile.The Communards were defeated by the troops of Charles in Villalar (Valladolid), April 23, 1521, his bosses Padilla, Bravo and Maldonado were beheaded.Now the feast of the Castilla-Leon is celebrated on April 23, and is a public holiday in that community.His patriotic holiday, and we see that the Spaniards remember their heroes with love.

This marriage of Kings (Isabel and Fernando) was called by Pope Alexander VI Borgia Pope "The Catholic Monarchs", and the truth is I do not really know the reason, be it Christian ideas defended the Muslim faced with the time .Or the ball well for them, as was customary in those days. However considering that Pope Alexander VI was born in Xativa (Valencia) Spain, no wonder some favoritism with so-called "Catholic Monarchs".(The history of this Pope / Borgia-Borja in Spanish / we leave for another time ... is also very seasoned).Elizabeth I's dream came to nothing, because until todaylands of this country we call Spain remain disunited and each of them want to be independent, five hundred years after the events described in this brief history.

The culmination and in my opinion are committed greaterrors in that reign.Highlight only two as the importance they had in the later history:First:Eject the Kingdom to the Jews and those who professed the Muslim religion .... great, great mistake, was their landas for the rest of its inhabitants.Contributed wealth and work, so we went ..... after a disaster.Second:Create the infamous "Inquisition" and give full powers to theChristian Church of the time to pursue those notprofessed "true faith" expoliándoles, torturing andfinally sentenced to death to many people.

Hit?If America was discovered, but the inhabitants of thoseland were very quiet before the arrival of "the conquering Spanish, Portuguese, French, Dutch and British .....Anyway, for much will that be can not change the destiny of a people, nation or the events that happen haphazardly.
 Another success could be the creation of "Holy Brotherhood" that ensured the safety on roads that were hitherto intrasitables by the number of bandits, murderers, thieves who infested the communication routes between cities.

Greetings to all and hope that you will have enjoyed the story of one of the Queens most significant in the history of Spain.

(In collaboration with my wife CUCA , SHE IS WHO TELL ME THE STORIES)

The first word of the heraldic arms of the Catholic Monarchs was, in all probability, in the church of San Juan de los Reyes (Toledo), whose thundering is the San Juan haloed eagle, and used as currency by Princess Isabel.Yugo and cut the Gordian knot, both mounted with the nickname ... as personal emblem of Ferdinand II of Aragon in the roof of one of the rooms of the palace of the Catholic Monarchs of Aljafería of Zaragoza, 1488-1492.

GREETINGS ....... the gatufo

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